Wayne Rooney.

No matter how hard I try, I will never be able to. . .

Click my fingers.

The TV show I never tire of is. . .

The Premiership.

I am at my happiest. . .

Watching football.

The first person I call when something goes wrong is. . .

My parole officer.

My biggest indulgence is. . .

Wine.

The one CD I return to time and time again is. . .

Microdisney's Clock Comes Down the Stairs.

My holiday heaven is. . .

Anywhere in Italy.

The one invention I can never live without is. . .

The petrol-spark ignition engine.

If I could have one night with anyone, it would be. . .

Roy Keane. Go on Roy, The Truth! The Truth!