If not a sporting disaster, then certainly a PR one.

Comfort can be taken in the fact that there's some black comedy to come, though it probably won't be as unintentionally funny as Sports Disasters 3, sort of like You've Been Framed but with more ambulances.

First we met a young lady by the name of Holly. Poor Holly found herself under a speedboat, despite sitting a good 20 metres from the edge of the water. On top of a hill.

"Holly had some internal injuries, " said the voiceover gravely, "but considering what could have happened, she's a very lucky lady." Let's recap. Holly was sitting on dry land, eating a sandwich, and within a few seconds was underneath a boat. Considering what could have happened (Holly finishes sandwich, goes home, watches some telly) lucky's not the first word that springs to mind.

Next up, token skydiver, hitting the ground at a college 'bawl' game quicker than Colm Meaney in Die Hard 2. Where's voiceover man to tell us everything's okay? Ah, here he is. "He's brought to hospitalf" That's it? No comforting tale of a fractured tibula or detached pelvis? Start to feel a little guilty for shouting "Whoaagh! ! That was class! !" at the moment of impact. Turn over.

Ah darts, what can possibly go wrong? Simon Whitlock's facial hair, that's what. Now, you may look at the photo at the top of this page and say that the pot is referring to the kettle as black. However, if you saw Whitlock, you'd just say pot.

The Aussie Brett Lee lookalike sports a beard last seen on that naked chap who used to be in Queens of the Stone Age and a glassy-eyed look that suggests a collection of unusually-shaped pipes hidden away at home.

Before the highlights of his match we were treated to a short and suitably inane interview with 'The Wizard'. When asked what animal he would be, he replied, "a cockatoo, cos they live to be 100 years approximately and they can fly. Flying's great." The Wizard had a few air miles on the clock surely.

Sadly, Whitlock lost out but happily, it allowed Bobby George to say "the Wizard had a bad spell tonight". Wearing a chain round his neck that could keep a Harley safe from thieves, George has struggled to find his range at times but is always helped by wily cohort Ray Stubbs. The pair perch themselves in a dingy theatre bar in front of photos of all the greats (Carson, Davidson, Kranky) and shoot the breeze on the day's action.

Their exchange after the Gary Anderson/Gary Robson match on Monday was magic. Anderson beat Robson, a close friend, in a match noticeably lacking in intensity. George was having none of it. "This is the World Championship.

The fact he's your friend shouldn't come into it."

Then the vast amounts of jewellery seemed to take control and he turned into Mr T. "You've got to beat 'em up. When I'm playing with the boy, I beat him up.

You've got to beat 'em up. I beat him up bad." Stubbsy was quick to stem the impending flood of letters, "We must stress you're talking about beating up your boy in the darting sense."

Despite George and Ray's noble efforts though, the star of the week has been Jelle Klaasen, a 21year old Dutchman who throws quicker than a Black Sox pitcher with gambling debts. "The young phenomena, " as commentator John Part called him (them? ) is known as the Matador (looks a little Mediterranean, enjoys hitting bulls), and after disposing of Mervyn King he faced Paul Hogan, whose nickname you can probably work out for yourself.

After walking on to the haunting strains of gabba techno, Klaasen went to work and despite a serious wobble towards the end, saw himself through with style. "He's a good lad, " said Bobby George. "He can count." Indeed, the Dutch are famous for it apparently.

Stubbs took to calling him 'The Lurve Machine' later in the week (Klaasen that is, not George mercifully). Didn't hear anyone else calling him that, which was a little unnerving.

Finally, and briefly, to Hanging with Hector, which featured Johnny Murtagh. Any chance of just Hanging with Johnny next week?