But this is just a tiresome detail and there is no reason why this political idea, like all the political ideas we have, should not be stolen from our neighbour and adapted for local use.

There is no reason either why Enda Kenny, who wears a suit very well, should not appear in velvet. Although it might be a mistake to forego the tie in this instance.

Also, Kenny has a fine head of hair and it would be a shame to spoil it with hair gel, as Cameron did.

So, all in all, it would be easy for Fine Gael to replicate the Tories' social success, make the government look old fashioned by becoming the party of the young and trendy, and sweep to power when the time comes.

The Black and White Ball has a noble history in reviving reputations. It seems to have worked for Truman Capote. If Enda Kenny is ever to be the subject of a biopic the time to act is now.

Like the Tories, Fine Gael has endured a decade . . . or is it longer? . . . of poor leadership and declining aggresssion. It has thrown away its honourable heritage as the party of the dowdy, bad-tempered spoilsport just when we needed dowdy and bad-tempered spoilsports most. Surely even Iain Duncan Smith could have made something out of planning corruption, bribery and endless tribunals. However, Fine Gael has wasted years of potential political capital trying to communicate with its touchy-feely side, just when the country longed for the Blueshirt lash.

Fine Gael's virtues were always dull. It was the party of fiscal rectitude and paying your taxes and saving for your pension and wasting nothing. Its supporters were the sort of people who always carried an umbrella and grew dahlias.

Strange to say, dahlias, at least, are making a big comeback. If only Fine Gael could ride the wave of New Puritanism which is currently sweeping the world it could clean up not just morally, but electorally.

Which brings us to the Black and White Ball. Young Fine Gael will undoubtedly steal this idea for one of their celebrations later this year. If there is one thing that can be said about Young Fine Gael it is that its ideas are always old, old, old; the guy or girl who came up with the Rip Off Republic wheeze has obviously emigrated or died of frustration.

Deep down you know when you've got to change your look. A good Black and White Ball could solve a lot of problems for Fine Gael. It could banish the stereotype of Fine Gaelers as nice, mild cardigan-wearing inadequates . . . hey, these are my people . . . and give them a bit of je ne sais quoi. It is amazing what a couple of nice evening dresses can do.

Is it wrong to wonder what Olwyn Enright would look like in chiffon?

Fine Gael's cultural fondness for covering up bare flesh and eschewing all excess could be reinterpreted as a sane response to our consumer society. Its parsimonious little ways could be repackaged as a sign of environmental soundness. Does Enda Kenny really look like the type of man who would leave the television on standby overnight?

Does Bertie Ahern really look like a man who gives a toss about alternative sources of energy?

It is usually the job of the opposition to make the government look slow. Instead, for more years than we care to remember, both the Tories in Britain and Fine Gael here have consistently made their respective governments look fast, achieving and modern by comparison with them. It's hard to drag oneself out of the mire of such an established routine. But surely a Black and White Ball is a good place to start. And no, a Blue and White Ball would not be the same.