Westminster is the dog event to end them all, as primo pooches from across the globe vie for that prestigious Best In Show title, cheered on by sold-out houses at Madison Square Garden.

Make no mistake, this is a serious business . . . the Westminster event is America's second longest continuously held sporting event, behind only the Kentucky Derby.

When offered the opportunity go backstage at Westminster 2006, how could one refuse? Sure, it's easy to laugh . . . extremely easy, in this case . . . but the scarily intense vibe at a world-class dog competition doesn't allow for much by way of levity. Anyway, I was too afraid one of the owners was going to sniff my bits.

Fans of Spinal Tap creator Christopher Guest's canine 'mockumentary' Best In Show (inspired, reportedly, by the Westminster competition) may be interested to learn that the film-makers toned down the reality, which is so beyond parody, beyond irony, beyond comprehension, it's completely admirable.

Okay, it's easy to portray competitive dog owners as freaks, especially when the odd participant feels the urge to make a dramatically ill-advised fashion statement; the dreadlocked woman with the dreadlocked dog will stay with us for life, as will the smell of dog . . . the gaff was positively minging with pampered pooch.

The Bottom Line: America loves its mutts with a passion.

Children and old people come a poor second. Consider the case of missing whippet Vivi, the 2006 Westminster winner who fled her travel carrier last week at JFK airport, sparking an intense dog hunt that has captivated New York.

As we go to print, a team of 12 psychics are counselling the search efforts . . . "They are telling us that she is alive and they are telling us she is warm, " Honi Reisman, a friend of the dog's owners, told New York Newsday. "They are saying she's in a building . . . but there are hundreds of buildings." Vivi come home!