Ray Houghton made a strangely staunch defence of Asier Del Horno's ram raid on Lionel Messi which led to his sending off. "He was going for the ball, " he insisted, despite replays showing Del Horno's Jackie Chan impression taking place in a different postal district to the sphere in question. This wasn't the only case of poor eyesight, with George Hamilton frequently confusing Claude Makelele and Geremi (danger there) and the ponytails of Rafael Marquez and Thiago Motta, even after Motta had been hauled off. It initially appeared that George's facial foliage has become so rampant it was impairing the vision of both himself and his sidekick. That was until an offside decision which Houghton was suspiciously adamant about, betraying the fact that the lads had been relegated to a commentary spot closer to the end line than the centre circle.

Chelsea's bigwigs have clearly been watching the half-time studio analysis. In case you missed it, Jose Mourinho's a bollix apparently.