No matter how hard I try, I will never be able to. . .

Fly. Dammit.

I am at my happiestf When I'm in love.

The first person I call when something goes wrong isf My sister Aisling. She's unflappable.

My biggest indulgence isf Flowerbomb perfume by Viktor and Rolf, Zeiss binoculars, nice underwear and books.

The one CD I return to time and time again isf Radiohead, The Bends. It's so tender My holiday heaven is. . .

Kevin and Clare's cottage on the Mullet penninsula in Mayo, where I go to write. You can see dolphins leaping out of the sea from the window.

The one invention I could never live without is. . .Language.

If I could have one night with anyone, it would bef James Spader.

Karen Ardiff stars in Civic Theatre and Guna Nua Theatre Co's new play 'Thesis', running at the Civic 5-22 April; 23-29 Belltable Limerick