It's a pity Gwyneth Paltrow didn't have her baby Moses when I was there, I could have got a lot out of that, " the wisecracking actor told me when I bumped into her outside Maloti in Dublin. Deirdre's Hollywood jokes went down as easily as Nicole Richie's weight at major clubs like the Comedy Store and Laugh Factory. If Apple was heavy, they'd call her the Big Apple, " gives you an idea. In fact, she hardly had to change her act at all, except for spiking a few nonAmerican words like buggy".

Rather than return to LA immediately, Deirdre will spend time in London after her nationwide tour in Portlaoise (28 April), Castlebar (29), Olympia (7 May) and Sligo (11). My English agent is trying to persuade me to go to the UK, " she added. Festival registered in England. Within the film industry, everybody has seen it. I'm doing Edinburgh again this year. I'm interested in sitcoms, but comedy drama is my ideal. I'd go to LA for a year or two, but it's not where I'd like to bring up my kids. I'm painting a bleak picture of LA, aren't I? The sense of opportunity there is extraordinary. The bottom line is there's a better class of rejection in LA becausef" Neeexxxt!