The mating call of the Gaelic games fan and the first sign that hibernation is over.

Shouldn't take long to be heard, around 3.31 today in fact, going on past experiences. Will be followed by increasingly insulting remarks until someone from the same county as the culprit angrily points out that there are children nearby, making matters much, much worse.

B is for. . . the Big Three.

Signs that one may be leaving that group in the near future and signs also that a few new applicants will be accepted are rampant. The sooner the better, purely for the sake of tweaking the most over-used phrase you'll hear this summer.

C
is for. . . Clare and all their efforts to make each Sunday a memorable one.

Just one more time it'd be nice to see their fans leave Croke Park yodelling. And just one more time it'd be nice to have Davy Fitz not leave us with memories of that face of anguished disappointment.

And just once it'd be nice to see Tony Griffin's 2,524-mile treks from Halifax, Nova Scotia not be in vain.

D is for. . . De Dubs. Haven't won an All Ireland since 1995. It's claimed the game needs them to capture Sam, but looking at things logically, the GAA has done just fine and dandy over the last decade and the rest of the country is much happier for their failures.

E is for. . . Energise, as in Club Energise, as in the GPA, as in the ongoing dispute, as in please let's concentrate on the championship.

F is for. . . fear or, rather more specifically, Triskaidekaphobia. Kildare have been stuck on 12 Leinster titles since 2000.

Down's fear seems even greater, they have been waiting for that 13th Ulster crown since 1994. F is also for Francie Bellew. Strange that.

G is for. . . Gooch. Who else?

H is for. . . Hill 16. The most brilliant sight you'll see all summer. Last year equipped with a new big screen and fireworks. How little was made of the latter.

I is for. . . invitation, much like the one the Westmeath hurlers failed to receive.

Turns out everyone but Westmeath got asked along to the photo shoot for the Liam McCarthy Cup. Even Antrim, who aren't even in the competition following their relegation, got an invite. Is there any point in them turning up when the real action begins?

Perhaps the powers that be were trying to give them a hint.

J is for. . . jockstrap. Rarely mentioned in public as it's seen as more of a 'rugby' thing.

K is for. . . KKK. The guys in white people stopped fearing a long time ago, who come out in big numbers threatening domination, who are more hype than performance. Kildare wear white too but that's just coincidence.

Surely.

L is for. . . the league. It's easy to write it off as a way of filling the early months of the year but there is a trend.

The last time Kerry won it and didn't go on to win an All Ireland was in 1982 and that year they only lost out to Offaly by a single point in the final. In fact the last time they won the league and missed out on a seat at the September showpiece was 1977. Hurling being hurling is much more predictable although the last time Kilkenny beat Limerick in the league decider was the 1983 final. That September, Kilkenny did their own double beating Cork. What odds?

M is for. . . those missing.

More specifically those missing from the Roscommon panel this time around. Barring the odd injury here and there, it will be John Maughan's side that will bring the freshest look to the parade. A host of those famed for their antics as well as their football will be watching at home for the summer which is no doubt a relief to hotel and pool hall proprietors the land over. They know who they are.

N is for. . . Nevin, as in Johnny Nevin. This will be the first championship he will have failed to play in since he started chugging away back in 1988. In fact, in the month he began it all, thinking Carlow might have a bright day or two by the time he finished, Fairground Attraction had just replaced the Pet Shop Boys on top of the charts. Although Willie Quinlan was a constant reminder, via a haircut, of when it all began, we'd like to think Johnny aged better than the music stars that overshadowed his debut.

O is for. . . Owen Mulligan and that goal that should spark dreams of what awaits.

P is for. . . Pearse Park, Longford. One of those foreign places De Dubs don't like travelling to. On the face of it, it's because it's too small to incorporate the masses that have emerged from their autumn, winter and spring slumber. Truth be told though, it's actually because the poor auld divils can't find the place. So to save humiliation, head west past the Spa Hotel in Lucan and the new motorway will have you there in half the time.

Q is for. . . Quigley, as in Eoin. Somehow only came in second to Damien Hayes' semi-final scorcher in The Sunday Game's moment of the hurling year, after doubling the most outrageous point in the Leinster final.

We still think it was the greatest though.

R is for. . . Rooney, as in JP.

Hit eight goals in 18 championship games before Louth were any way successful and will now lead the most interesting story of the league straight at Meath.

S is for. . . Spillane, as in Pat. First they take our music and then put himself in the hot seat for our Sunday night viewing. He may surprise us and grow into the role, as he badly needs to, but his insulting comments and carefree ways are missed as much on the pundit's side of the studio as a presenter is missed on the presenter's side.

T is for. . . the Tommy Murphy Cup. When writing this it was made clear the odd letter needed to spark the imagination and get people thinking. Well here you go then. Who won the wretched thing in its first couple of seasons? Or more apt perhaps, who cares?

U is for. . . upsets. It's been too long since the Fermanaghs and Sligos of this world were setting our pulses racing. At least in hurling they can talk about Galway and Kilkenny's clash last August, but a few more would make the summer that bit more special.

V is for. . . vanity. When exactly did Mayo start worrying so much about appearance? By the way, the red jersey suits ya better, Conor.

W is for. . . Westmeath.

Are they or aren't they any good? Conveniently W is also for Wexford. The same can be said in whatever code you're having yourself.

X is for. . . xenophobia. Gets worse as May progresses.

Will result in yards of barbed wire being lugged from the local hardware shop and laid down along every field close to a border. Probably with good reason too, especially if you border Laois or Offaly.

Y is for. . . yin and yang.

Leitrim's backs and forwards come to mind. As does Babs Keating's expectations and Tipperary's reality.

Z is for. . . Zzzzzz. Please refer to T. And for the record, it was Clare, Tipperary and nobody we know of.