Johannesburg, South Africa

A You don't really need "nerve, " exactly. You need self-confidence.

Without it, you're going nowhere.

But you seem to know that already.

Look, only you know why and how selfconfidence has eluded you so far. Perhaps you weren't born with much, as there does indeed seem to be a genetic component to it. But for the most part self-confidence is a developed trait.

Some people get it at their mother's knee, where they first hear the happy news that their every bright comment qualifies them for the Nobel Prize, or that they're taller, cleverer and certainly better-looking than every other child.

Others get it from great academic results that set them apart, or sports at school, whether they score goals or get elected captain. But there are no rules about where self-confidence begins.

We know a 27-year-old entrepreneur from Slovenia who "picked up" selfconfidence by watching his father struggle to launch a little machine-tool company in 1991, just days after the country won independence from Yugoslavia. Today this gutsy young man, fresh from an MBA in the United States, is in the midst of launching a global technology company of his own and sees no limits to his future.

We also know a successful New York mutual fund manager who got his first big dose of self-confidence as an adolescent, when he learned to pilot a small boat alone and spent a summer reeling in bluefish and striped bass in the rough seas of Cape Cod Bay.

"After that, " he told us, "I thought I could do anything."

Could he? Absolutely not. Through his long career, this mutual fund manager would tell you he has "blown it" many times. He started a communications company during his senior year in college, grew it to 100 employees and $40m in sales, then lost it in a painful, protracted legal battle with a former partner. Several years later, he tried to start a consulting firm that survived six months. But if those incidents spawned fear, this entrepreneur's deep reservoir of self-confidence overcame it every time.

You need to start creating that kind of reservoir for yourself, even if it is from scratch. How?

Not with grandiose plans concocted to catapult you into fame and fortune and quash your fear of failure once and for all.

Too many people believe that one big, public success will solve their selfconfidence problems forever. That only happens in the films.

In real life, the opposite strategy is what works. Call it the "small victories" approach. To begin, set a realistic goal, be it at work or home. Keep this goal attainable and contained; don't overextend your expectations of yourself the first time. Then achieve that goal and feel good about it.

Next, set a slightly larger goal . . .

something a bit bolder and enough of a stretch to put you slightly out of your comfort zone. Achieve that goal and feel even better, and so forth until you're in a slow and steady forward march, building selfconfidence step-by-step. And it will build.

When Jack delivered his first speech more than 40 years ago, it was panic-inducing, awkward and heavily rehearsed. He practiced in front of the mirror for weeks in advance in the hope of keeping his stammer in check, and then read from carefully typed sheets with all the ease of a man in a straitjacket. The actual talk took just 15 minutes.

But they were the longest of his life.

There's nothing more effective than tackling a challenge incrementally, growing and learning each time. After delivering speeches for decades in front of all kinds of audiences, Jack now considers it anything but nerve-wracking to answer questions in front of thousands of people without notes. In fact, for him it's fun.

Now, without doubt, you will foul up along the way as you try to build your selfconfidence. Not every one of Jack's speeches was better than the one before it, and it was a long time before giving them became fully enjoyable. But when your small victory turns out to be a small defeat, do not revert to fear mode. Go deep into that reservoir, understand what went wrong, set another goal and start again.

The process won't really ever end. As time goes on, your goals will just keep getting bigger and bigger. And failure, which will also continue to occur on occasion, will come to feel like less and less of a thing to fear.

In time, you will discover that all failing really does is teach you something you needed to know, so you can regroup and stretch again, with even more nerve.

Jack and Suzy Welch are the authors of the international best-seller Winning. You can email them questions at Winning@nytimes. com. Please include your name, occupation, city and country