For weeks after it, he had to teach himself how to breathe properly, such was the damage the whole process had caused to his lungs. It's the same with anyone who's had open-heart surgery, but the rest of his story was different. And despite the turmoil and pain, it was those differences that made Kevin Madden grateful.

The detection. The recovery. Football.

Life.

"The operation, aye, that was back in 2001 and to tell you the truth, it was ironic really, the way it happened.

We were playing Westmeath in a National League game down in Mullingar in April-time. I shipped a heavy tackle and I basically broke my jaw in two places. I was up in the Royal [Victoria] getting it reset when one of the consultants obviously spotted some sort of murmur or some sort of sound in the heart. So they sent me for tests."

One more battle. As a kid, you see, there was something not quite right with Madden. Sure, there was the bomb down the road from his home in Portglenone that blew up the petrol station and shook the foundations of his house to the core. There was the clubhouse of his local side, Casements, where he arrived twice to see a burnt-out shell. There was the constant muttering and continual awareness of what was going on but none of that was it. Those were experiences shared by a community. His was his own. A murmur in his heart. At worst this would be a relapse he presumed, but there was much more to this.

"They had a look and you never expect anything really bad. I had that problem as a kid but I had been told at a young age that that had been cleared up. To be honest, at eight or nine it didn't seem that big a deal. I knew I had what the doctors described as a small hole in the heart, but because it didn't affect me physically it didn't bare any sort of a stain on me as a child. And this was probably something similar."

Only it wasn't. When doctors took a closer look they found a leaking valve in Madden's heart. Leaking badly. Not once had it affected those extra bursts in training or the hardhitting clashes in Ulster but all the while blood was seeping away from his heart, threatening to cause untold damage.

"It was probably a congenital condition. It's quite a serious operation but you can't be too pessimistic.

Although it does cross your mind that it is not a 100 per cent success rate you are guaranteed and there is a mortality rate there. But from my own point of view, I was 24, young and fit. The risks were low, I didn't dwell on the negative side. From the time I was diagnosed to the time I got operated on wasn't that long. It was about seven weeks. I didn't have much time to dwell on it. It was over before I knew it."

So was the recovery. After the initial unease he was back working and getting some light exercise within six weeks. Nine weeks after he had disappeared, leaving his teammates worrying, he wandered out onto the training pitch, heart as it should be.

There was the first game back, 11 weeks after the operation, a game he scored 1-3 in by half-time, although he likes to take away from the heroic madness by telling you he did have a chest guard.

"Some people would see it as ludicrous and said you'd be better taking a year out. But my surgeon said there was a slight chance of me getting back within three months. And it was one of the things that got me through the whole time, setting that goal to get back playing competitively for club and county in the same year as I got the operation. I was thankful I was able to do it.

"But once a competitor, always a competitor. When you come back from something like that, you look at the game very differently. You realise you won't be playing forever, you're not immortal or invincible. You live for every month and you live for every game and you play every game like it was your last."

But sure hadn't they fixed everything up anyway. . .

He could have played for Derry.

After all, he grew up near the border, even went to school across it in St Mary's, Magherafelt. He's grateful for that. It gave one of the more talented footballers of an Ulster generation the chance to bask in glory despite a career that slid by on Antrim's mediocrity.

"Aye, it was often mentioned, the whole Derry thing. As a 17-year-old our club was playing in Division Four and we were struggling. The age gap between myself and the next player was probably about 20 years. A lot of my friends were starting to break onto the Bellaghy senior team and I'd often have thought what it would be like to play for a Division One club in Derry. But it never materialised and thank God for that. I was born and bred in Antrim. It's where I always wanted to play and that's why I'm glad nothing ever came of the Derry situation.

Even with the success it would have brought?

"I haven't won enough, that's true and if I was asked what my regrets were, it would be the lack of success.

I've been there nine or 10 years and played a lot of games in the championship and National League and in all that time, we've never made a provincial final or league play-offs. But I've a lot of happy memories as well. Representing your county is a huge honour but I'm a fierce competitor and I want to win all the time and that aspect will be a regret forever."

So why the lack of success? What has been wrong with Antrim football for so long?

"It keeps coming back to the same points. You can't bring it down to any one great thing but Antrim, out of all the counties in Ulster, probably suffered the most through the Troubles.

You can't underestimate how far that can set a sport back. There are greater priorities. Football or whatever else people play doesn't matter in the face of such a struggle. Then there is the colleges structure. I was lucky enough to go to school in St Mary's [Magherafelt] and play in MacRory Cup finals.

For my own personal development as a footballer that was invaluable. In Antrim there haven't been colleges in the MacRory Cup for maybe seven years. The last time a college from the country won that title was 1986. It's a breeding ground for county football and we've missed out on that.

"And that's before you get to all the politics in Antrim football, and there's a lot of it. There have been cases whereby the club has been put ahead of the county team, there have been pretty severe fallouts. The case between St Paul's and Cargin comes to mind. Whenever we seemed to build this momentum there was a fallout. The knock-on effect was guys not wanting to represent their county. There's always been problems at club level. There was always some form of setback."

But this time was different. Madden watched closely through the latter months of last year as St Gall's boxed their way through the heavyweight division of club football. Finally an Ulster title and finally hope. He watched as Nemo Rangers were taken and he watched the Antrim champions come within a wisp of the most unlikely of victories. That last chapter was irrelevant. The confidence those club players would bring back to his county team left him with hope in his mind.

At last they had to be taken seriously.

He would aim for a comeback in today's encounter against Fermanagh.

Problem was, everything hadn't been fixed up. Madden released a statement last week, stating that he had been forced to withdraw from the Antrim panel for the rest of the year due to medical advice. The future is uncertain. What is sure is that he can maintain his standard of life only if he refuses to pull on another jersey.

"I've had to withdraw from the county panel and wasn't prepared to say anymore. My statement was very clear. I won't know any more until I get further tests in the coming weeks.

I'd love to be back playing at some stage and sooner rather than later.

But at this stage it wouldn't be fair of me to speculate. Obviously I'm hugely disappointed to be forced off the panel though. I've been out for the past eight months after having a cruciate ligament reconstructed last September. This Sunday against Fermanagh was due to be my comeback. This was it. This was the day."

He can't be sure if the feeling will be much worse when he wanders into Brewster Park but deep down, where it's all not right, he knows. The atmosphere will bring back the boy who took to Antrim on the back of the occasional meaningless victory that for him made heroes. It will bring back the kid who made his championship debut when coming on against Donegal in 1997 and scoring a goal not long after. They lost that day as well, but he won.

It will even bring back the man who started his county career with dreams of glory laid out long into the future.

Dreams he still won't let go of.

ULSTER SFC FIRST ROUND PREVIEW FERMANAGH v ANTRIM Brewster Park, 3.30 Referee M Duffy (Sligo) We're well aware how early in the championship season it is, but still, some bubbles are about to burst. We'll do it here and we get the feeling both sides will help us out later in the day.

Firstly to Antrim. So much was said about St Gall's providing the self-belief and Kevin McGourty providing the class. But we'd ask you to look at the league. They lost five times in Division 2B and against such opposition, there can be no excuses.

There's the defence too, a back line that crumbled against Meath last year. This season they've shipped 11 goals and despite replacing John Finucane with Paddy Murray, the problems lie as much in front of goal as they do in it.

Then there's Fermanagh.

Charlie Mulgrew said a few weeks ago that it's make-orbreak time for his side.

Looking at the Ulster draw he may have said that in hope and looking at his Fermanagh side, he may have said that in confidence. After all, most of the names that made it to the All Ireland semi-final two years ago are still hanging about. But we're not convinced.

For all we saw of Fermanagh's attacking style earlier in the year, they avoided relegation by just a point, lost four games and shipped a heavy defeat the last day out against Offaly (given last weekend's action, can someone tell us how anyone would manage that).

Marty McGrath hasn't made it and we're not sure of their ability to come out on the right side of an entertaining game.

But this won't be entertaining, more of a slog, and the quality of previous opposition can't be underestimated, nor can Barry Owens's defensive ability and his side's pace.

Verdict Fermanagh by four FERMANAGH C Breen; P Sherry, B Owens, S Goan; R Johnston, H Brady, S McDermott; M Murphy, L McBarron; M Lyttle, J Sherry, T Brewster; E Maguire, S Doherty, C O'Reilly

ANTRIM P Murray; A McClean, P Doherty, D Gault; A Scullion, A Convery, S Kelly; J Quinn, M McCann; C Close, B Herron, A Gallagher; K Brady, K McGourty, M Magill