For those of you who mightn't have known, Marty Morrissey writes an entertaining GAA column each week for the Clare People, the new paper they now have down in his home county. Last week's piece had one gem in particular that made such perfect Sideline Cutsmaterial, we'll quote verbatim the way the pride of Quilty put it himself.

"After GAA Congress was "nished in Killarney a few weeks ago, Mass was said in the hotel for members of the association. The priest in his homily spoke about the kindness of the GAA to act in a Christian, neighbourly way by allowing the rugby and soccer bodies to use Croke Park while Lansdowne Road was being developed. When Mass was over the priest was visited in the 'sacristy' by a prominent GAA of"cial from Ulster who wished to express his annoyance with the priest's sermon. The priest happened to be a brother of the outgoing President of the GAA. I'll leave you to guess who the Ulster of"cial was. But let's just say he's not shy about sitting down through a standing ovation."

VALID EXCUSE FOR NEIGHBOURS TO WHINGE Perhaps we are getting old but last Sunday, on Croke Park's first championship day of the year, we felt particularly overwhelmed by the noise coming from the two giant screens that bookend the great stadium. At half-time in the opening game, Louth versus Meath, our eardrums were rattled by whatever advertisement was blasted from the screens. This inyour-face form of advertising didn't work because we can't recall what products were being thrown at us. Take note ye marketing gurus.

It happened all over again before the following game, Offaly and Westmeath, and once more at half-time. We're sure any rant in these pages won't have the GAA turning it's back on 'much needed' revenue so a total ban on TV advertising at Croker isn't being called for here. All we ask is turn the volume down. Please.

Maybe it's the addition of the second screen that has added to noise levels this year, though enough decibels can emanate from the giant screen on the Hill . . . the largest in Europe . . . to leave us wondering if the end of the world is nigh. So take note Croke Park, we all like to discuss the game in those minutes following the half-time and full-time whistles, so pretty please, let us do that in peace. Otherwise we'll be bringing hats, scarves and ear plugs the next time.