He did it twice yesterday.

It's already crossed the thin line between comedy and tragedy. After his second goal, we thought, "Leave it big man." But he couldn't help himself. Surely the first case of a celebration becoming tiresome before a tournament has actually started. Peter's body-popping marked the official start of World Cup silly season as Sky News hired dance experts and ITN devoted almost two minutes to explain the phenomenon that's allegedly sweeping their nation. Domo arigato Mr Roboto.

Five days to go and if you're not enthused by now, best pack a tent and climb Croagh Patrick. It would be interesting to know whether there was a single moment of televised World Cups worth watching that hasn't been shown on the box this week. On RTE, it's been pretty quiet, bar the odd repeat of Giants Stadium and a generic documentary here and there. But over there, by jingo they've been getting stuck in, with ITV managing an hourlong World Cup documentary every night of the week.

Of course, those looking for genuine insights and excellent production values were barking up the wrong channel.

World Cup Heaven and Hell was cheap, cheerful and eminently watchable television. Stationed at 11pm every night, it was squarely aimed at the post-pub audience and the show itself was little more than a compendium of pub conversations. Remember that Zaire lad kicking the ball away against Brazil? Or Higuita getting dispossessed by Milla?

Did you know that Garrincha had an unusually large penis and lost his virginity to a goat? All there for our woozy delectation.

Facts and figures were forsaken for speculation and the occasional and inevitable bout of naked xenophobia.

Did the Argentines pay off the Peruvians in the 1978 semi-final? Probably, said this show. Any proof? Nah. One example among many. Rumours abounded and stereotypes were reinforced. As pofaced as all this sounds the morning after, let us assure you that we thoroughly enjoyed the programme and have no problem with such baseless ruminations given the time of year.

World Cup season is officially upon us.

Let the unfortunate but enjoyable generalisations begin!

Pity about the talking heads though, which varied wildly on a scale ranging from 'erudite and occasionally amusing' to 'Nick Hancock'. Actually, scratch that, Bob Mills was there. If you're unaware of him, remain so. If you'll allow us to enter the spirit of the times for a moment, most of the contributors were a bit too, well, English. But hey, the clips were good and there were regular ad breaks for toilet-related purposes.

It also featured one of the odder sponsor's ads, the clips that feature before and after ad breaks. These tend to follow one rule, 'put football commentary over something that isn't football and hilarity will invariably ensue'. It's there beside 'there's nothing funnier than a baby that can talk like an adult' in the marketing handbook. So we get people going to the fridge and taking out a beer while a voice yelps "Oh that's quite a result there Brian!". Comedy gold, you'll agree.

The sponsors of World Cup Heaven and Hell decided to base theirs in a wood-panelled boardroom where people were setting out formations with sugar cubes before somebody took one and used it in their tea, "Oh, looks like he might miss the rest of the tournament". More existentialist contemporary visual art than ad for a sports shop surely? Or perhaps we should have left before the Jagermeister came round.

For a break from the soccer smorgasbord, one can turn to Setanta Sports and their many oodles of GAA coverage.

With every game played over the weekend repeated at various times during the week, there was no excuse for missing Tyrone v Derry, apart from the obvious.

They've added a couple of discussion shows now as well, which scarily makes it a potential seven-day week for GAA fans. The GAA Show follows the format of any such show with little or nothing to spend: drag in a couple of seats, put GAA folk in them and let them at it.

Inevitably, it's as interesting and informative as the people sitting there. And of course they need something to talk about. Setanta better hope the championship starts justifying the level of coverage sometime soon.

Elsewhere on Setanta, word reaches us of a cult following for their post-midnight baseball coverage, which they unfortunately did their best to alienate the other night. Apparently the Toronto Blue Jays went into a 6-0 lead against the Boston Red Sox. A fine comeback by the Red Sox saw them level at 6-6 before Toronto went 7-6 up at the start of the eighth inning, an exciting conclusion in prospect. And then, nothing. At 3.30am, the transmission ended, leaving dozens of expectant insomniacs mumbling something that probably sounded a bit like the plural of cult.