Sven Goran Eriksson, it seems, has his own faith. He trusts in instinct. It resulted in the inclusion of an untested 17-year-old in his final England squad. Seemingly, when it comes to evaluating a 20year-old's condition, he is prepared to rely on that same force and eschew medical science. "The last say in this story is Rooney's, and mine", was one of his declarations on Thursday.

If it is, God forbid. The last thing anyone needs is Sven and the art of metatarsal maintenance.

Perhaps because here, in Heidelberg, where several of us correspondents are holed up, it is necessarily a St George cross-free refuge, and even more mercifully a Rooney-neutral zone, some of Dr Eriksson's observations appeared even more preposterous than they may have appeared back home.

In this sedate, environment-friendly, university town, the World Cup could easily pass you by. Yet, even here, there is no escape from the R-word. An earnest young ticket clerk at the railway station, where I was attempting to book a ticket for yesterday's match, stared at me quizzically, and said: "I haf one question to ask you. How fit is Rooney?" His real concern, of course, is that the Manchester United striker may be ready to face the hosts in a possible second-round game.

I swear the world is being taken over. Fall asleep and you will wake, having succumbed to Rooney-fixation.

Much of the responsibility for that lies with Eriksson, who failed to distinguish himself in Thursday's pronouncements on the subject, and specifically with the inference that the iconic figure could be involved in the games against Trinidad and Tobago next Thursday or Sweden on Tuesday week.

It may have appealed to those grandstanding individuals responsible for the news pages of England's most popular newspaper, which gloried in the image of verbal fisticuffs between Eriksson and Alex Ferguson, the Swede outscoring his rival on points.

In reality it was less about the entirely justifiable concerns of those from the Theatre of Dreams, and more about the Theatre of the Absurd, in which the Football Association has been anything but a guiltless bystander.

All discussions on this should have been wrestled from Eriksson from the start by the FA. All he needed to declare was that Rooney could be considered by the coach when the FA's medical advisers, in conjunction with their counterparts at Old Trafford, judged he was fit enough to do so, instead of this ridiculous posturing, which doesn't suit Eriksson, who is about as effective at playing the heavy as Graham Norton.

When the coach pronounces that "The good news is that Rooney has no more injury. He is injury-free, " he is being disingenuous. United contend that the injury is only "substantially healed" and "is potentially still at risk".

The Swede has unnecessarily raised the temperature in the hell's kitchen of clubnation relationships, and with threats of litigation, should further mishap befall Rooney, England appear to have been ill-served by Eriksson's contribution. Even if Rooney is "injury-free" in strictly medical terms, can there be anything more ruinous to England's cause than a player lacking condition, and worse, one with a perceived weakness in a certain area?

Rooney needs protecting from himself, and from opponents with absolutely no regard for his welfare. As one former England defender put it to me, without any hesitation: "The first thing I'd do is stamp on his foot."

As Bobby Charlton, United director, argues: "I don't think Wayne is the person to ask [about his match readiness], you would have to ask the medical staff." And by implication, neither do you ask Eriksson.

The whole affair evokes an ominous sense of deja vu, and it's worth borrowing the first line from the Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young classic of that title, "If I had ever been here before I would probably know just what to do." Only Eriksson has been here before, of course. In Japan and South Korea, with a captain, who, though the coach now offers some lame rationale for his inclusion . . . I didn't have an Aaron Lennon then . . . should never have participated. One suspects that the same is true of Rooney.

One can also cite Bryan Robson, who travelled to Mexico in 1986 despite being prone to shoulder problems.

"If I'd had any doubts I would have pulled out, " Robson says 20 years on. In his second game, it was his shoulder that was "pulled out", by a Moroccan.

In Robson's view, Rooney should only have travelled if he had recuperated fully. "I think he could be a distraction for the other players, " he says.

And that factor should not be ignored. All Eriksson's 23 crave success for England, but in truth, they primarily demand it for themselves, at this, the pinnacle of their careers. Steven Gerrard warns: "You can't throw a player into a World Cup game who is not match fit."

You suspect ultimately that the Swede's natural sangfroid will dominate his deliberations and he will exercise caution, and not merely because of a fear of a further contretemps with Ferguson.

Simply that a crocked, or less than a fully functional Rooney will not serve England to his optimum.

As the chorus should reverberate in Eriksson's head in the coming days: "We have all been here before. . ."