At the start, it's all about getting there; a few weeks in and gone is the confident optimism of that first weekend, and it's all about getting back.

Being home alone and being en famille at the seaside are each rewarding experiences, but juggling the four-day-on, three-dayoff system can lead to the very malaise that holidays are supposed to prevent. It can ultimately be bad for you, your relationship and business.

Since the demise of the family holiday as it was . . .two weeks in the country in the rain . . . a new type of Irish summer sojourn has emerged. This quirky culture of weekend families is hardly indicative of major social protest or dissent, but it does reflect our mechanistic approach to family life; we make it tick those boxes.

For the adults, these constant comings and goings are as arduous as the back roads and potholes to be mastered en route to the idyllic retreat.

Trying to integrate notional romantic expectations with real-life experiences and psychological welfare is tough when the sea is a cool 12 degrees, the wipers are on their last legs, piles of work await you back at the office and you notice three missed calls from the MD on Friday evening. Is the honeymoon coming to an abrupt end?

Evidence shows that driving long distances regularly is demanding on us all. Not just because of fatigue, but because it decreases attention span, increases irritability and can cause accidents.

It's not just listening to radio DJs that increases your blood pressure and makes you feel you're about to explode, it's also the high degree of attention required to negotiate the highways and byways . . . and those who drive on them.

This, coupled with the mental and emotional dissonance caused by the enforced shift from a concentrated time spent parenting to a concentrated time spent working, brings upheaval and discord.

There's a whole new world of renegotiating roles and repairing schisms waiting every Friday for the adults. They have each relaxed into separate, distinctly different roles during the week and have to manoeuvre around each other again for weekend parenting.

Then there's the conflict between parenting and partnering. . . not to mention the work that didn't get done on Friday afternoon.

What time should I head off to avoid the traffic on Sunday? Did I leave the immersion on?

Just as dad finally departs for the city again, mum and kids relax back into their weekday lackadaisical pattern, where city rules are run roughshod over, and he's back again, and another round of subtle negotiations begins.

Everyone is aware of the increasing stresses. It builds throughout the summer, but nobody wants to shatter the illusion of family bliss. Phrases referring to 'best of both worlds' get bandied about at barbecues. Everyone agrees. By the end of the summer, though, even the kids are showing signs of holiday fatigue and want to get back to a regular family pattern in the city.

Change is not always as good as a rest. Sometimes, we just need the rest.

And whereas we have learnt to accommodate a day split between work and home in even measure, the split-week system is much more difficult to get used to and can lead to unexpected loneliness followed by overpowering overexposure.

According to Professor Richard Wynne of the Work Research Centre, an Irish-based think tank and consultancy, a split week, whether for shift patterns or family shifts, is disturbing.

"Any change in routine is going to require extra effort to adapt to it, physiologically, socially as well as psychologically.

When one is concentrating life into two very distinct compartments . . . exclusively family, then exclusively work . . . in a sudden burst, the fall-out can be severe, " said Wynne.

Wynne confirmed that relationship changes have an impact on the workplace, on commitment levels and performance and accident rates too.

"An important aspect too is the inter-shift interval . . .

people need regularity and a time-out period they can rely on to be there for them at the end of one effortful segment."

While maintaining the weekend visits can be a positive thing for a week or two, over the long term it means exposing ourselves to a more risky environment and possible impairments in other aspects of our lives, Wynne said.

That is unless, of course, you're your own boss, which Michael O'Neill, a self-employed painter and decorator from Glasnevin in Dublin, says is the reason his summers are less about stress and more about destress, despite all the travelling at weekends.

"I see some of the high fliers, who have mobile homes in the very upmarket 'holiday park' beside my own downmarket one in Curracloe, Co Wexford.

These would be well known CEOs who drive down late Friday and back late Sunday or early Monday morning. They have their heads in the laptop all weekend and shout at their kids. They never unwind anyway, so why do they bother making the trip?

They probably go back to the boardroom really stressed out.

"In my case, I love it, and it's great for me and my family. On the other hand, I definitely lose out workwise. I try to work longer during the week, but it doesn't make up. It's worth it though, for me.

"I'm not sure I'd like it if one of my employees was doing it though. I certainly wouldn't pay him as much because he would really be a part-time worker all summer, which is, really, what I am. But I can do that; that's why I work for myself."