WWORLD CUP
All channels, all week BIG choice to be made today. Which channel to watch it on? On the one hand, RTE, but those in the studio sometimes seem addicted to controversial statements at the expense of reasoned analysis. On the other hand, there's the BBC, but their pundits tend to grate, with too much insular, jingoistic commentary. Yeah, the Ulster final's a tricky one alright.
Later on, Italy play France in the World Cup final, which means RTE for the live, BBC for the highlights and ITV for people who have lost the remote and are too drunk to care.
Not the obvious choice it might have been. RTE have become the first organisation in some time to suffer for the loss of Graeme Souness. After more than four weeks, the boys are at risk of becoming predictable. There's too much "that wasn't the point I was making Bill", too much fretting over who said what and not what they're saying.
The BBC threatened to become preferable during the Italy v Germany semi, when something approaching a passionate debate began between Alan Hansen, Alan Shearer, and Martin O'Neill. At half-time we were shown a wonderful and damning montage of Sven Goran Eriksson's reign as England manager and some of the tabloid incidents that pock-marked his tenure.
Afterwards Gary Lineker asked the people, "Will you miss him? Not sure you will." With Hansen and Shearer eager to agree, O'Neill seemed to be moved by professional courtesy, wondering if Ian Wright had been in the editing suite for the past few days.
While he didn't make an outright defence, he emphasised the press's obsession with Eriksson's "off-field activities", and how he "hadn't endeared himself to the English media".
Lineker firmly insisted that mattered little, and an adult, gag-free argument almost ensued. If O'Neill had had a leg to stand on it could have been great. A rare sighting though, and not enough to give them the final, apart from during the ads, obviously.
Also, an obsession with wrongs committed to 'them' and their depiction of a semi-final as France against Cristiano Ronaldo was desperate. There was sickening self-righteousness as they replayed dives and gasped theatrically. Even Adrian Chiles mocked Marcel Desailly for applauding Ronaldo while he was rampaging at the France defence and providing some entertainment. It's a shame they should so readily assist in the crass scapegoating of an opposition player. So Portugal tried to rile Wayne Rooney in the hope of him snapping and getting sent off. Tactics, eh? Course you wouldn't catch England at that sort of thing.
And Match of the Day had been so good the previous night. The Italy v Germany highlights were scant for what had been a superb game, so we groaned and settled in for a tortuous post-mortem on England's exit. Instead we got something quite different. Somebody had the bright idea of sending Ian Wright to the modern art museum downstairs and asking him to describe what he saw.
It wasn't hard to fear the worst from a man who just a couple of days previously, had told us "I don't know what it is about those little guys, I just love 'em" after watching a sketch featuring a dwarf. But as he delivered a stream of consciousness around exhibits, a strange feeling started to well up inside. It was almost like. . .
respect. Almost.
Wright just took each piece as it was, said what he saw and what it meant to him, unafraid to appear ignorant or vulnerable. It was close to confessional at times. "I fink I'd like to fink more y'know, and I'm not afraid to express that." A bold and original diversion, and impeccably made.
The BBC have also been keen to emphasise how welcoming their hosts are. Chiles had heard that Berlin residents had a reputation for being unfriendly, which astonished him.
"What happens when you go to these other cities? Free love in the train stations I expect." It's testimony to Chiles's presenting skills that he made that sound funny. If Ray Stubbs alluded to having sex with strangers in a train station, I'd feel the urge to contact Interpol immediately. After vomiting.
To carry on, reporter Celina Hinchcliffe rounded off her Dortmund city guide by standing next to a huge tower, insisting, "You wouldn't get me up there for another bratwurst. My meat intake since I came here has been huge." She may have said something after that, I was too busy sniggering childishly to notice. And I wasn't alone, back in the studio Lee Dixon and Ian Wright were giggling helplessly, while Chiles was rendered unusually speechless. She knew. She must have. Didn't she? Surely.
Finally we had a selection of defeated fans throughout the tournament, softly faded together to the tune of 'Send in the Clowns'. Quality sport, high art, bawdy comedy and a moving portrait of disappointment and loss.
Now that's a show. It may seem a mite selfish, but for our viewing pleasure we must hope that 'they' never win the World Cup. Crushing defeats are obviously good for creativity. Keeps them honest.
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