Poulter's response? A curt "no" before walking off in a different direction.

The spectators who made the effort to get to Hoylake for the practice days with designs on seeing Tiger Woods up close and personal, are probably feeling short-changed. Woods played practice rounds last Saturday afternoon, and then on Sunday morning when the links was virtually deserted. On the Monday and the Tuesday, he opted for his by now customary dawn patrol which he knows gives him an opportunity to play a few holes in relative peace and quiet.

On Wednesday afternoon, he turned up for a short time at the practice range and the putting green and was soon choppered off the premises. Phil Mickelson, meanwhile, chose not to make an appearance at all on the Wednesday preferring to play Royal Birkdale less than an hour up the road.

Now if the world's best players want to put their feet up on the eve of a major, that's their prerogative, but if they want to practise, then they should be made to practise at the championship venue and not on another course.

As for Woods's early starts, it appears likely that he will be politely asked to practise a little later in the day at the K Club in the lead-up to the Ryder Cup.

There are always a few particularly glum faces at a major championship, but spare a thought for Jesper Parnevik whose journey to Hoylake in the end proved fruitless. When Trevor Immelman withdrew because of the imminent birth of his first child, and the Australian Andrew Buckle took the place, Parnevik was promoted to first reserve. In the hope that someone else might be forced out . . . Fred Couples came into the championship with a bad back and Seve Ballesteros has been known in recent years to quit at the eleventh hour . . . he interrupted a holiday in Sweden.

Brad Faxon, who was lower down the reserve list than Parnevik, had flown in from America and confessed himself to be "depressed" when no lastminute place materialised. As for Parnevik, who hung around the putting green last Thursday bedecked in a waistcoat, tie and panama hat . . . as you do at the British Open . . . he was eventually spotted leaving, and suffice to say, he looked about as pleased as when he blew the British Open at Turnberry in 1994.

There didn't seem to be any reason for Fred Funk to approach the little-known Ben Bunny earlier in the week. One is a veteran campaigner probably now honing his game for the Champions Tour while the other is an Aussie who plies his trade on the Canadian Tour. Anyway, it seems Funk wanted to offer his thanks. "I no longer have the stupidest name in golf, " he said. Apparently, Bunny took it in the right spirit.

No longer a competitor, but still a major draw, Jack Nicklaus jetted into Hoylake for some promotional work last week after a brief stay in Ireland where he was running the rule over a couple of his design projects. He paid a visit to the St Patrick's links near Rosapenna in north-east Donegal which he has been engaged to redesign. Set in spectacular duneland, there have been two courses at St Patrick's since the mid-1990s, but now Nicklaus is upgrading the set-up which was originally laid out by Eddie Hackett.

The news that the R&A is about to begin a drugtesting programme is welcome. Although the fact that the first doping controls aren't taking place until the World Amateur Team Championship in South Africa in October could give some players time to clean up, it's a case of better late than never.

Fred Funk's comment here that "You're either good enough or you're not good enough. I don't think drugs will help you get better, " is exactly the sort of naive, head-in-the-sand reaction that validates the R&A's initiative. With the current premium on power and athleticism, there's plenty of reason to believe that some tour players out there have already tried performance-enhancing substances.

Not that you might think that members of the written press are doing anything else than slaving under a hot sun, but a couple more of those key golfing terms have been doing the rounds here.

For example, a nasty five-footer? A Dennis Wise.

And a difficult read? A Salman Rushdie.

Nothing at any major championship comes cheap, and Fred Couples knows it. He was well aware that he would have to pay above the odds to rent a house on the Wirral, but for what he got, he reckoned £14,000 . . . or roughly 20,000 . . . for the week was a bit steep. "They must have known we were coming, " Fred philosophised. Still, with $19m in on-course earnings in America alone, we reckon he can probably afford it even after the disappointment of missing the cut.

Many, many words written here about Seve Ballesteros. From endless paragraphs of praise for past glories to suggestions that he should pack the game in, Stuart Appleby got it just about right when was asked for his opinion. "A magician who's lost his magic, " said the Australian.