Shuddup, you.

Anyway, after seeing how the Indo handled the story of new ad rates at Newstalk, we turned to the Thursday column of D'Olier Street Times wunderkind Emmet Oliver, wondering what oracular divinations he would shower upon us lumpenproles to help make sense of Newstalk's 300% price increase effective October 2 when it goes quasi-national. Does it make sense for advertisers? Is George Hook (below) value for money at 500 versus 670 for 5-7 Live ? Will Moncrieff do the voice-overs for all of the ads? Tell us Em, please. But no. Nada.

Some observers found the omission strange, as Emmet is in a better position than most to know of the inner workings of the Dublin station, as he also presents the weekend 'Down to Business' show, modestly proclaimed to be the 'biggest radio show of its kind'.

Emmet has continued reporting on the radio market, mind you, since taking over as presenter.

Observers speculate it may not be possible for Oliver to continue in both roles when Newstalk, including his nixer, goes national in October.

We know everyone is hopelessly con"icted in this intimate media market, but just this once, just to see if the world really would end, might someone "nally be forced to make a choice?

The last time we dared mention the boy wonder in this space, we were heartened to see that on the following Thursday, Emmet retreaded a month-old story on the "nances of this newspaper.

Coincidentally. Just hadn't found the space before, see. [And we're doing just "ne, thanks, beeyotch. ] So we're just giddy waiting for this Thursday.

Of course, Publius reserves the right to modify his views on the ethics of presenting a radio programme while writing a column covering the radio biz -- the minute he's offered his own show.

MEANWHILE. . .

More reflectively, many adlanders were somewhat bemused by Newstalk's price hike. "They've done a fabulous job, and fair play to them, " said Sharon Lawless of Mercury Media. "But some of my clients might have preferred to see a proven national track record before seeing these prices." Others were more blunt. "They don't have a breakfast presenter, " now that Eamon Dunphy has gone and joined the establishment.

There is plenty of upside for Newstalk, however. They get to keep the license even though two of the main presenters fronting their bid have since departed. And Ana Leddy's savage shakeup at Radio One means that RTE producers might look at the new ad rates and see a future. Phone lines between all sorts at Montrose and Mount Street have been hot recently. Watch this space.

WALKING TALL Next time you're passing through Heathrow, know it's not jetlaginduced hallucination or that you've wandered into a Dr Who shoot.

There really is a woman wearing an LCD video screen on her torso walking towards you in the terminal with an ad for Hertz. JCDecaux Airport has contracted with Dublin "rm Adwalker to use it's 'digital media platform' - i. e. funky video clothes - to advertise in several BAA airports in the UK. The (literally) walking billboards will advertise hotels, airlines, credit cards and car hire. And presumably whatever Minority Report sequel these 'wearables' escaped from.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK "At the rate that technology is advancing, people will be implanting chips in our children to advertise directly into their brains and tell them what kind of products to buy." - - Hilary Clinton with this week's modest proposal. Now that I'd vote for.

YOUTUBE, MY MONEY Why wait for chips in the head when you've already got every under-25 on the planet with a disposable income already gawking at a social networking website, just waiting for your buzz-dynamo marketing message? But beware. Just as Billy Bragg protested the Ts&Cs on MySpace, which until June 15 - changed, perhaps in response to the ageing punk's protest - made whatever you uploaded their own.

Now YouTube, recently employed by Thinkhouse for Imagine broadband's naked surfers viral video, has come under "re for much the same thing over at the Boing Boing blog. YouTube says it relinquishes the rights for license and distribution if the uploader requests it be removed, but creatives at some big agencies in the States have just realised that their best stuff may now belong to someone else.

BEYOND BROWN ENVELOPES With the CAB and Tribunals putting an end to the old ways of in"uencing government decisions, it's about time for a new breed of public affairs consultant. A lot of "rms do it, but few are ready to advertise the fact.

Step up law "rm Mason Hayes+Curran, who with head of public affairs Dr Brian Hunt now offers its clients a more cerebral champion for their cause than some others we could name. The fact that they're advertising, we hope, marks a new chapter of in"uence from argument, not from a bit of the other.

Best of luck, doc.

TIPS, BRIBES & ABUSE all welcome at rdelevan@tribune. ie.