A MAIN frame computer on which everyone in the office depended suddenly goes down. The staff try everything to get it back up again but it still won't work. So finally they decide to call in a high powered computer consultant. Your man arrives, looks at the computer, takes out a small hammer and taps it on the side. Instantly the computer leaps back into life and off he goes. Two days later, the office manager receives a bill from the consultant for 10 grand. The office manager is apoplectic and rings the consultant up and says, 10 grand for fixing the effing computer, you were only here for effing five minutes, who do you think you are? I want the bill itemised.
The next day the new bill arrives in and it read: tapping the computer with hammer. 10. Knowing where to tap, 9,990.
This is how the All Blacks play. They don't send out bills for 10 grand but they know exactly what they have to do in such a situation. Yesterday, they knew they were in a tight match, 13-9 says it all, but they just knew where to apply themselves and what time to do it and that was the difference between the two sides.
I know John Connolly very well. He's a very clever man and he knows his rugby. He also knows his rugby psychology. And even before yesterday's match, we knew what was going to happen and what type of game it would be.
The bullshit about the new Haka where the final act is a throat-slicing action would be where the sledging would start. Connolly stated that it was inappropriate for many of the watching children to see such an act. Either way, his contention was waffle.
And amazingly as the All Blacks set up for their Haka, they seeded psychological advantage and went back to their traditional Kamate Haka, one-nil in the psychological stakes to Connolly.
Immediately afterwards and well outside the laws of the game, as the New Zealanders waited for kick-off, the Australians indulged in two minutes of tackle practice with bag holders. This would take the immediate sting and the adrenaline rush out of the act of the Haka. Two-nil to Connolly.
Then you knew that this would be a game where the entertainment quotient would be low and it would come down to a battle of will rather than ability. The Kiwis, however, won it on all counts.
I was disappointed because this game had all sorts of possibilities and was intriguing in every respect. But instead of getting a shot of vodka, we got served up some milky tea.
There was only one try in it and this separated the teams.
I'm still not sure whether I can attribute it to individual brilliance or just a very poor mistake, but the defensive meanness exhibited by both sides was just chilling.
It's an aspect of the game to which Eddie O'Sullivan and the Irish players will need to pay very close attention and aim to match ahead of next year's World Cup. The extent to which the physicality of the challenge went, meant it was one of the most aggressive games on the tackle line that I've seen and it was a mistake in this area, amazingly not in the last 10, but in the first 10 minutes of the game that decided it. And we have to actually examine whether it was a mistake or not because I have my own views on how the try came about.
I'm always suspicious and slightly uncertain of Edward Scissorhands blindside types.
They can rarely distinguish between what the team needs to do and what they feel like doing themselves. Rocky Elson was the cause of the line break which New Zealand achieved in the 10th minute. Even the name tells you something, Rocky. They all have nicknames which more or less mean the same thing: The Cleaver, Granite Hands, Ogie Ogelthorpe, The Undertaker.
Most number sixes take great pride in being able to empty their opposite number in car-crash tackle situations to the detriment of what their teammates are doing, regardless of whether it's legal or not. New Zealand got into the game when they won a kick-off after Australia had scored the first penalty of the game. Carter took it up in fifth phase and despite being superbly wrapped by Mark Gerard, the ball came out like shit from a goose. The All Blacks again went down the short side. This particular short side had 20 metres of room in it and Kelleher flicked the ball to Jerry Collins who ran into the tram lines.
Collins was covered by George Gregan and Matt Giteau was coming across to assist. In terms of team ethic, Elson should have trusted his teammates inside him, particularly given the strength of their ability in the tackle. But something lured him inside, the possibility of a king hit on the king of king hits, it would be a feather in his cap to be able to empty Collins.
What Elson should have been doing was staying light on his feet and tracking Joe Rokocoko to the outside.
Instead, he chose to come in just a little bit. Elson ball watched as Collins got the pill away in the tackle and belatedly realised that Rokocoko had half a yard on him.
The All Black left winger turned on the after burner, stepped off his left foot to come inside the covering Latham and wasn't bothered by Giteau who had come back across.
Australia have also become a little bit like Ireland. They attacked off set plays, primarily their line-out, mainly because they don't have a scrum. The Australian eight were obliterated again at scrum time and could only manage attacking forays from quick feeds and quick strikes. But the All Blacks' defensive intelligence was outstanding here. From a move off quick line-out ball, Stirling Mortlock went up flat and feigned the take, Giteau fades outside and Tiquiri takes the inside pass off his blind wing. Theoretically, the cover should have been taken out and the move was well executed but here again Mauger was far too clever to be taken and he stood his ground to wait and see what would happen. He took Tiquiri out and caused a subsequent turnover.
It was moments like that which again gave the All Blacks the ascendancy. But the moment of the match came in the 53rd minute. Gerard was put away by Mortlock. He didn't have the gas or the skill to beat Rico Gear but he managed to step inside him. Who was there to utterly cleave him, but the superlative Ritchie McCaw. And in the same act of knocking him down, McCaw was onto his feet first and ripped the ball for one of eight turnovers which he effected during the game.
Even at that stage, it was the Aussies last offensive chance. And whenever the Aussies line broke, it was staggering the numbers of All Blacks who came back around to contest the ball on the ground. This should have been the most difficult game the All Blacks played but they slugged it out and had the know-how to survive any threat. They won't be touched now.
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