Sadly, this country seems to be a tad ill-equipped to deal with hot weather, as the Sunday Tribune revealsf

WATER SHORTAGES Never mind not watering the plants . . . some people are hard-pressed to have a shower this summer, with water shortages striking several locations around the country, including Dublin, Carlow, Cork and Kerry.

Meath is particularly hardhit, with the county council broadcasting desperate pleas on the radio, urging its people to tighten every tap. As it is, much of the county will have a seriously reduced water supply between 9pm and 6am for the foreseeable future.

STAFF ILLNESS No, of course they're not really sick. Instead, the sunny weather is encouraging more Irish workers to skive off and work on their tan.

One in five people polled by Irish Health. com last week said they had taken some illegitimate time off work to enjoy the heatwave, or were seriously considering doing it if the good weather continued. Bad news for Irish businesses, who are estimated to be losing 1.5bn a year due to absenteeism.

INFRASTRUCTURE Most buildings are bravely withstanding the recent heat, even if the air conditioning in many places isn't exactly up to scratch.

Sadly, this hasn't been the case for Scoil Cill Mhantain in Wicklow. The gaelscoil has started to melt in the heat, with fixtures in 10 prefabs beginning to dissolve and canisters exploding because of the high temperatures.

DROWNINGS The hot weather always lures more people into the waters, but the recent heatwave led to a spate of rescues off the south and west coasts last weekend, with several swimmers getting into trouble.

"With this hot weather we have had, a lot of people have entered the water who may not have been swimming in over a year and got into difficulties, " said Roger Sweeney of Irish Water Safety.

His organisation is calling for people to take care in the water this bank holiday weekend.

NUDITY Pale Irish skin is best left covered up at any time of year, but the brave women of Westmeath have taken to sunbathing nude in the recent good weather.

This is according to the joyless souls at Athlone town council, who have issued a warning that women engaging in topless sunbathing will be fined up to 1,300.

REPTILES Presumably we can't blame the heat for that tiger in Dublin Zoo which bit the arm of a 19-year-old girl. That happened because she stuck her arm through his cage.

What the heatwave has done, however, is set several snakes around the country on a bid for freedom. The Dublin Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals captured 10 escaped snakes in the city alone. Apparently, they were "energised by the high temperatures".

AGRICULTURE The long-suffering farmers of Ireland have certainly not enjoyed the heatwave. The dry weather this summer has played havoc with potato growers, with farmers who had expected to get 10 to 12 tonnes per acre now expecting only between five and six because of a lack of irrigation.

As well as that, there have been serious worries about stunted grass and crop growth and water provisions for cattle. In short, they're praying for rain. By the bucket load.

FIRES Firemen around the country are probably among those planning on calling in sick after a spate of gorse fires around the country. They spent three hours last month putting out an extensive fire at Brittas Bay, Co Wicklow, that was believed to have been started by a barbecue.

There have also been gorse, ditch and forest fires in at least six different locations around Limerick. Clare was also badly affected.

INJURIES A&E consultants thanked their lucky stars when gypsy skirts went out of fashion and people stopped showing up in casualty with related leg burns. Sadly, there's no saying goodbye to flip-flops, which health experts now warn are a danger to be reckoned with.

Apparently, they stretch the calf muscles and cause all sorts of injuries, especially when worn constantly as is happening in the recent fine weather.

SALES It's not all bad news, especially for those cunning people in retailing. This summer, ice-cream vendors have seen a massive boost in sales with people turning out in their droves to enjoy the fine weather. But beware: ice cream is fattening. Toy shops have also benefited, with water gun sales rocketing.

Most surprising perhaps is the 7% rise that Boots pharmacies have experienced in false tan sales. It appears office workers not brave enough to call in sick are stocking up on false tan to compete with their counterparts who spent the day on the beach. It's dog eat dog out there.