"Sunday Tribune?" he spluttered. "'Ow the fack did you get this number?"

"Er, you gave it to me after the last game in Lansdowne."

"Eh? Did I? Aw, fack. I 'ave to stop facking doin' that. I s'pose it's awright then. 'Ow'd you get stuck with me, then?

Duffer and Robbie not answering?"

"Well, they weren't silly enough to give me their numbers."

"Nah, facking right they weren't. They're not mugs like me. What you want to know anyway?"

And he sat on the other end of the line giving solid answers to silly questions for the next half an hour, when he neither had to, nor particularly wanted to. Last week saw his passing from the international scene, typically with the least fanfare imaginable. No announcement, just a quick word from Steve Staunton saying he'd offered to hang around to help with the early days of the new era but felt that now the time was right to toddle off. Class.

No, he wasn't the best Irish centre-half ever; indeed, he probably just about makes it into the top 10. But he remains the only one ever to score a World Cup goal and at a time when many of those younger than him in the squad appeared dead set on perfecting their looks of studied indifference, he was never less than full-throatedly committed. If that sounds like faint praise, it isn't meant to.

There's a small irony in the fact that he leaves behind him a squad well short on options in his position. In a centre of defence which will read Richard Dunne plus guest for the next half a decade or so, Breen wouldn't have been the worst in the world to be able to call on for a dig out. Especially when we remember the ordeal poor Ian Harte went through (not to mention what he put the rest of us through) when last he filled in there.

Still, Staunton can only cut the available cloth. No, there's not a massive amount of cover but that in itself isn't reason enough to be calling up Paddy McCarthy, as some suggested during the week.

And before anyone argues that he could have been taken in for the experience, a la Terry Dixon, that doesn't compare like with like. For a start, there's the not insignificant matter of the need to get Dixon . . . a Londoner, let's not forget . . . capped sometime soon. Beyond that, McCarthy should have to do more than simply be next on a short list to earn an international callup. Staunton's insistence on that has been one of the more admirable traits of his short stewardship so far.

As to what to look for out of the next few weeks, an idea of the kind of shape a midfield might take over the next few years would be a start. So low are expectations at this stage that it would be a mistake to think that there is anything to lose by giving Stephen Ireland his head and telling him that giving Michael Ballack and Thorsten Frings a game in Stuttgart is going to be his bailiwick. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work but at least there will have been a recognition that it's the future that Staunton is here for. Graham Kavanagh and Kevin Kilbane, willing soldiers though they both are and have been, aren't that future. Ireland might be.

Whatever about the Germany game, though, very little can be read into what happens against Holland on Wednesday. International friendlies in this week of the year are just about the most useless footballing entities outside of Sepp Blatter's press conferences. At the very most, 10 of the Irish squad of 24 players will start the week comfortable in the knowledge that their place in their club's first team is secure. At a time of year when making a good start and a good impression in the day job is vital to a player's prospects for the rest of the season, how much do you reckon the minds of the other 13 (plus Dixon) are devoted to Staunton's plan for keeping tabs on Arjen Robben? It's not their fault, it's not his fault.

It's just a wilfully stupid waste of time.

Still, it's a chance to roll out the funniest thing ever to come out of Jim Beglin's mouth. While commentating on a PSV Eindhoven Champions League game a couple of years ago, he watched Jan Vannegoor of Hesselink miss chance after chance and, in a stroke of linguistic genius, dismissed the Dutch striker as "more a mouthful than a handful".Boom, boom.

INTERNATIONAL FRIENDLY IRELAND VHOLLAND Wednesday, Lansdowne Road, 7.45 Live, Sky Sports One, 7.30;

Highlights, RTE Two, 10.00