Ok we made up that number.

Actually 3 has launched a campaign for its 5c text, picture and video messaging service to any network that centres on a TV spot set in what looks to be the world's most boring lecture, with the distinctive 3 characters doing the modern equivalent of passing notes in class.

With production by tractor and media buying from Mindshare, the campaign is understood to be worth around 1m, or about half of 3's overall 2m marketing campaign.

The spot will run on RTE, TV3, Sky, E4, MTV, Setanta, Paramount and Channel 6, along with national and regional radio and 684 outdoor sites.

So there is no escape.

The company says that recent independent research reveals that punters believe 3 is more stylish, creative and innovative thanVodafone. It's certainly different.

Though we're not sure how the teachers will react to even more encouragement to students sending texts in class. Ah well.

SHARK ATTACK IMMINENT

Just when you thought it was safe. . . all right, I'm sorry. . . the Sharks galactic adverpalooza will be down in Kinsale this week, from September 7 to 10. While creatives from across the country will join their overseas brethren in an homage to good ads with the distinct whiff of alcohol, particularly the Brits who in previous years were rumoured to have staged a Continuity Sharks in Kinsale when the festival shifted to Galway and Ennis, they should know that Jack Supple, he of fi100 Years of Harley Davidson Advertisingfi, Porsche and Gibson guitars and who has just retired from Minnesota's finest ad agency Carmichael Lynch, has been added to the jury panel.

fiJack is one of the most awarded creatives in America, fi said Sharks chair Donal Helme, fiand we are looking forward to him joining the team that this year is being led by the legendary John Hegarty, who himself has made famous more than his fair share of iconic brands such as Levi and Audifi.

Rumour also has it that Publius' other personality will be stalking the Sharks. So beware.

GOOGLE GIVES VERB-AL

One of the linguistic wonders of the 21st Century is the ability of the English language to morph words from one use to another, for no apparent reason. The word 'horse' for example, while 20 years ago meant 'a horse' . . . something that pulled a cart or was used as a method for the very rich to win money on and the very poor to do the exact opposite - has today taken on a role beyond that of its equine form. In 2006 it can be used as noun, verb and indeed adjective.

Publius believes the word 'horse' to be the most versatile in the English language.

From a branding point of view the ability to turn the name of a product into a verb would appear to be the Holy Grail for many companies.

Hoover did it in the 50s, Xerox, Sellotape and Fed Ex followed suit.

But, and yes this is where I bring Google in, the generic identification of a brand has a huge downside.

Google call it 'genericide' and if it becomes a word synonymous with an activity instead of a product then it could lose its copyright status.

They have their lawyers onto it, so, to journos everywhere, here's your warning. If you're writing about an internet search, don't write fiI Googled itfi, you may well incur their wrath. To be on the safe side write fiI horsed it into Googlefi instead.

AS ONE SILLY SEASON ENDS..

It's September. From previous experience in these matters, Publius believes that it will soon be October.

That means the Ryder Cup will thankfully be behind us and advertisers will be reaping the benefits of their respective spends during the tournament. Golf Digest will be charging 850 a spot as it will be doling out 4,000 free copies at the K Club. RTE will be capitalising on increased listenership during its live coverage of the event, with 21 spots being made available on Radio One at a tidy 9k a piece.

PUNCTUATE THIS

Where oh where would we be without Those That Have Nothing Better To Do (TTHNBTD)? A varied, largely powerless group of busybodie's who, as their name would suggest, have nothing better to do than lobby for causes that really dont matter. Chief among this weeks TTHNBTD are The Apostrophe Protection Society in the UK.

Eager to interfere outside their own jurisdiction, the aforementioned entity set their sight's in the salubrious surroundings of leafy Portlaoise, where a man called Fran has a garage. Frans garage does crash repairs and eager to advertise the fact, Fran erected a sign to that effect on a 40 foot billboard on the N8. fiFrans Crash Repairsfi it said, much to the chagrin of He Who Has Nothing Better To Do, (or as he call's himself, Apostrophe Protection Society chairman) John Richard's, who satisfies himself by becoming outraged at poor punctuation. fiIt is inexcusable, fi he said. fiLargely because I assume it was produced by a professional sign-writer who didnt know his job.fi

Fran couldnt be contacted, and Publius quickly lost interest in trying to track down the sign-writer, but you can do your bit by sending your apostrophe related outrage to John Richard's at john. richards2@virgin. net or by visiting the website, www. apostrophe. fsnet. co. uk, but be careful . . . it contains graphic images of real life apostrophe abuse.

CLARIFICATION

Last week this column should have reported that local agency B2B Communications had done the Beat 102-103 campaign, not Irish International. We seek penance.

TIPS, BRIBES & ABUSE back to normal at rdelevan@tribune. ie