And he just got fired.

I kind of like Sumner Redstone, too. Although I've never seen him. He was a code-breaker for the Americans during World War II (probably translating messages from the British, but never mind that now).

Half his body was covered in burns in a Boston hotel fire, poor thing. He's 83 years old and he didn't get where he is today by drinking decaffeinated latte, if you know what I mean. Sumner is the man who fired Tom Cruise.

"As much as we like him personally, " said Sumner, who is very sincere, "we thought it was wrong to renew his deal.

His recent conduct has not been acceptable to Paramount."

We have to admit that Cruise is bonkers. He jumped up and down on Oprah's sofa (although this seemed to some of us to be quite a good thing to do). He shared his thoughts on Brooke Shields taking anti-depressants. He seems to have made Katie Holmes give birth without uttering a sound, according to the teachings of the Church of Scientology.

Where is that baby anyway?

I think we should be told.

Cruise was never done telling us how much he loves Katie, blah, blah, blah.

His rantings have, according to Sumner, cost Mission Impossible 3 about $150m ( 118m) in lost publicity.

That is the scale of Sumner's tragedy. Our tragedy is that popular movies are so appallingly bad that even we won't go to them anymore . . . at least not in the numbers that Sumner would like to see.

Cruise should never have fired that scary old PR lady he had, because she was certainly earning every cent she was paid. Sumner was not of the opinion that Cruise was earning his $10m dollar retainer from Viacom, the parent company of Paramount. (Brad Pitt's retainer is just $2m, which has started to look like the minimum wage. ) It suddenly occurred to Sumner that Cruise was being overpaid . . .

talk about being the last to know.

In a bad year for Hollywood this move on Cruise is being looked on as the first strike in what has been called . . . with some genius . . . celebrity apocalypse. The thing is that the private jets and the personal trainers have started to look not simply excessive but insulting to Hollywood executives. "Industry Flirtation With Honesty Puts Stars On Red Alert" trumpeted the Los Angeles Times. But the honesty part is just the film industry honestly admitting that Superman Returns will have to make $700m in order to break even.

Personally I'm all in favour of movie stars. Their glamour, their hypocrisy, their vain attempts to look just like us plain folks. Bring it on, is what we proles say. It is rather unfair for Sumner to get up one morning and start criticising movie stars for being stupid, greedy egomaniacs. What does he want . . .

Albert Schweitzer? And how much is Sumner Redstone paid, whilst we are about it?

I don't know if there has ever been a film called Blame Is The Spur, but if there hasn't then there should have been. The real reason that the stars are coming out tonight, tomorrow morning and for much of the rest of this year is that the biggest players . . . like Cruise . . . have something called the first dollar agreement.

This means that they get a percentage of a film's gross take, before the studio has deducted its costs. In other words they can make money on films which lose money.

Even we unwashed masses know how honest Hollywood accountants are . . .

famous for it actually . . . and we go to bed at night secure in the knowledge that no Hollywood studio would ever cook the books so that it appeared a profitable film had lost money, in order not to have to pay its percentage points.

Turning your golden goose into a rather plump scapegoat is one way to attempt to get out of an industry slump. It will be interesting to see what other entertainment organisations . . . RTE, that means you . . . will follow Sumner's bold example.