As he prepares for his first party conference at the head of the party, the Conservatives slipped in the latest survey, losing a lead over Labour they had held since May.

And the poll for the Daily Telegraph found more than half of voters (54%) believed it was "hard to know what the Conservative Party stands for".

Both Labour and the Liberal Democrats have accused Cameron of relying on publicity stunts to hide a lack of detailed policy initiatives. He has set up commissions to come up with proposals on a range of subjects, but they are not due to report before next week's gathering in Bournemouth.

Six out of 10 voters agreed Cameron "talks a good line, but it is hard to know whether there is any substance behind the words". And his personal approval rating also took a dive . . . from 46% at the beginning of the year to 35% now.

The latest poll shows the Tories have lost a seven-point lead over Labour in less than a month, falling two points to 36%. Labour shot up by five points to match that score.

nuclear power is safe and stem-cell research cures all illness. Then a personal mission to Israel and Palestine to take on the single biggest political impasse in the known universe and sort it out. That's the kind of promise only a super sort of cuckoo could attempt.

And where there was a sticky mess of reality, cuckoo Blair excelled. Yes leaving this job is tough but it's. . . wait for it. . . "right for the party". Having American allies is well . . . it just is . . . and anyone who suggests standing alone is not fit to govern. So there. Those soldiers I sent to war . . . I think of them. . .

yes, you guessed it. . . every hour. Finally, those terrorists who say this war is all our fault. . . look, they've always hated us and actually we are perfect and we will go on being perfect and doing nothing wrong.

As they clapped and cheered, the best cuckoo the Labour party ever had showed his cuckoo cheek by nicking the "you were the future once" insult from Tory cuckoo Cameron and turning it to earn cheers and smiles with "you are the future now, make the most of it".

Not content with this sublime performance, the organisers ensured the absolutely ridiculous by shifting the very popular double-act fringe show of previous years to centre stage this year. The cuckoos Blair and Brown of course never operate as a pair but are joined at the . . . well at some part of their anatomy. They don't even need to speak to sprinkle true cuckoo-land sparkle on an event and their performance brought a tear to the eye this time.

As cuckoo Blair packed his toothbrush and gave away his bucket and spade for next year's cloud-land return to a seaside venue, he could allow himself a quiet 'cuck coooo' at how well honed his fantasist skills are. And he knows he will need them . . . how he will need them for the moment when he hands over the keys of number 10.

The cold reality of the morning after, stripped of power, prestige and the hot line to the White House, will need the best he's got.

Thank goodness then for all those years at the helm of cuckoo-land . . .

their true purpose is finally revealed.