And all that time until they could trust to talk . . . just a little bit . . . about the things that make them the same.

Speaking to the Sunday Tribune, John McMahon opted to take an optimistic approach to the findings of today's Sunday Tribune poll which reveals that, while 64% of people support equal legal and financial rights for same-sex couples, 50% believe that they should not legally be allowed to adopt children.

"I think it is encouraging that over 30% of people support the right of same-sex couples to adopt, " said McMahon. "I actually think that is an encouraging result. Now we just need to focus on the bigger issue, and that is the right to marry. The government is talking about civil partnership, like what they have in the UK, but that's not the same thing. I believe that if we introduce full marriage for same-sex couples, then all the other legal and financial rights will come with it, as they automatically should."

McMahon and his partner Gerard Whelan own two hairdressing salons and live with their three children, Connie, Max and Tom, in Rathfarnham. The five-year-old siblings have started school, and are as contented and boisterous as their peers. "They're very happy children, " said McMahon. "They have great personalities, they're lots of fun, and lots of hard work."

The only people who have reacted negatively to the family is certain elements of the media, said McMahon. Otherwise, they've been living their lives in peace. "We see ourselves as being very conventional parents, and very like our friends in the way we parent, " he said. "We try our hardest, and we hope to get most things right."

To date, the children have asked only a few questions about the differences between their family and the families of their friends. "It's been mentioned in passing, and it's something we're dealing with, " said McMahon. "We're just doing our best."

However, if the wishes of the Irish people, as expressed in this week's poll, were to be honoured, then gay couples would not be given the chance to 'do their best' at being a parent.

Exactly half of the population are opposed to same-sex couples adopting children, with the majority of the opposition coming from men, people aged over 50, and farmers. On the face of it, the statistics suggest that while most Irish people welcome equal rights for same-sex couples, they balk when the question is taken away from the abstract and focused on real-life issues.

But, according to Dr Evelyn Mahon, senior lecturer in the School of Social Work and Policy in Trinity College Dublin, this may not be the case. The sociologist believes that if the poll question had been separated into two, and distinguished between the rights of lesbian couples and gay male couples to adopt, the results may have been very different.

"I think that if the question had been asked like that, then you would have found that a female couple would have got a much higher proportion of 'yes' answers, " she said. "People have far less reservations about lesbians adopting than they would about a gay couple. I think people worry about how well men can look after children, and of course there has been all this negative publicity regarding men and paedophilia, and that is bound to make people far more nervous about the idea of two male parents."

McMahon said that the finding of majority support from Irish people for equal legal and financial rights for same-sex couples was not unexpected. "By now, in Ireland, I wouldn't be surprised by that, " she said. "It is part of the broad advancement of human rights. People are educated now to a much higher level about sexuality and same-sex partners, and so they are increasingly accepting of it. There is much more visibility of homosexuality now, and a high proportion of families . . . if they don't have one gay or lesbian member in their own family . . . would know people who are gay or lesbian."

However, Colm O'Gorman, director of the One in Four support group for abuse victims and PD election candidate, believes that the poll results will surprise many. "There are certainly people who felt that this was a very divisive issue, " he said. "For example, a lot of political parties are convinced that this is something that will divide the country down the middle, and they've been talking about the need for constitutional reforms and referendums in order to change the laws. But this poll suggests that that may well not be the case, and I think that will come as a surprise to a lot of political parties."

Outside of politics, O'Gorman, who has fostered two children with his male partner, said that Irish society has become very liberal. "The majority of people have managed to separate their old anxieties and fears and misunderstandings regarding same-sex couples and are now able to take an objective and compassionate view of the issue, " he said. "As far as I'm concerned, it's a very simple issue. Forget about sex . . . people who love each other should not be discriminated against by the law, regardless of their gender."

The opposition to same-sex couples adopting is not necessarily a contradiction of these 'liberal attitudes', said O'Gorman, but rather indicates a very positive Irish concern for the welfare of children.

"Wherever kids are involved, people become a lot more anxious, and that's a good thing, " he said. "Those who have opposed the idea of same-sex couples adopting say that it is not a proper environment for children. Our own Minister for Agriculture has said that Ireland is not ready for same-sex couples and never will be. But there is international research to show that children who are brought up by same-sex couples are no better or worse than other children. To suggest that the nuclear family is the only right place to rear a child flies in the face of all the evidence that suggests that, in fact, the nuclear family can be the most dangerous environment for children, and it is at home that a lot of child abuse takes place."

In the end, said O'Gorman, regardless of the opinion of the majority, the reality is that samesex couples are already having children.

"A lot of people don't realise that adoption by gay people is already legal in Ireland, " he said.

"There is no ban on it here. There are a significant number of people in same-sex couples who are already parenting in Ireland, and whether Ireland is ready for them or not is really immaterial - because it's happening."

This view is echoed by Niall Crowley, CEO of the Equality Authority, who said that the opposition to adoption was a "very disappointing reaction" and "one that doesn't acknowledge the current realities" in Ireland. "Obviously, people are beginning to acknowledge that same-sex couples should have legal recognition, but they are not aware that they also have children, " he said. "However, the majority support for equal rights is a very important result at a time when everyone is becoming more aware of the significant disadvantages that accrue to same-sex couples. It's emerging from this poll that there's significant popular support for change, and that should help the growing political consensus that there needs to be change."

The support for equal rights was also welcomed by Eoin Collins, director of policy change for the Gay and Lesbian Equality Network (GLEN). "It's a very welcome figure and it illustrates the huge progress being made by Irish society, " he said. "But it cannot be forgotten that, at the moment, the children of same-sex couples are being denied their rights. They are, effectively, being made into second-class children. The law has huge practical effects for them. And there is a blanket ban on a whole group of potentially excellent parents. That is wrong. And it has to change."