The Sunday Tribune can exclusively reveal Paisley-Adams not as the North's two most famous politicians, but as a raunchy American porn star who the DUP and Sinn Fein would definitely find too hot to handle.

Ms Paizley Adams, 34-2234, could prove much easier to deal with than her namesakes. One website describes her as displaying "a willingness to do anything" and, unlike the IRA when decommissioning, she isn't camerashy. One of her best-known videos is "dynamite blow jobs".

Gerry Adams could certainly identify with her.

She's described as "a wanton gogetter who worked her way through hardcore ranks before landing that lucrative, exclusive deal." Like the Sinn Fein leader, she has literary aspirations. In Diary of Desire, she stars as a writer working on a book of erotica.

The West Belfast MP enjoys tree-hugging . . . and Ms Paizley Adams also has a love of nature, although she goes substantially further in embracing the outdoor life.

While Mr Adams prefers appearing with Martin McGuinness by his side, Ms Paizley Adams' favourite costar is Vince Voyeur.

The Rev Ian Paisley mightn't approve of her tongue piercing, or left breast tattoo, but her Scottish ancestry would be a plus. Like the DUP leader, she has shown remarkable longevity. She retired in 2001 but has made a comeback and six new videos are in the offing. Her CV shows a flexibility of position neither of her namesakes has so far displayed, and she is said to bring "an air of excitement and enthusiasm" to everything she does.

Ms Paizley Adams' existence was discovered accidentally at SDLP headquarters. Councillor Sharon Haughey had inserted the words 'Paisley Adams' into a google images search. "I was looking for pictures of them for a power-point presentation we were doing, " she said. "I was shocked at what I found and wouldn't like to think young people would access it. Gerry and Ian mightn't be too pleased either.

This Paizley Adams has never had a problem saying 'yes'.

Northern Ireland politicians are always being told to make love not war but this could be a step too far!"

A DUP source joked:

"Those in the party sceptical of the St Andrews agreement will say this shows no good can ever come when a Paisley and an Adams join together!"