IHAVE always classified someone as a bore when you ask them how they are . . . and they tell you. . . for about 15 minutes. Similarly when people ask me what I thought of the match last Sunday the answer will always be sociably terse. An informed variation on "the lads done good". A lot of these people really have no interest in what I think about the match, series, championship, team . . . they are only waiting for me to stop talking so that they can tell me what they think. . . for about 15 minutes.
Joe Kennedy famously said just before the 1929 crash: when the bell hops are in, it's time to get out. Since the eminent rise of this Irish team and its success the country's spinnaker has been swelled by a Zephyrus whoosh of goodwill and interest. Everyone has become an expert. I'll soon be in the soup kitchens probably being served some of the product by Al Baxter.
I met a punter on the street last Monday and was met by a gatling gun full of knowledge and wisdom. "Stringer's days are numbered, for years we had no one who could make a break, Boss is the man, he'll keep that fringe honest, keep 'em guessing and he'd cut them to ribbons.
Superb game against the Aussies, got 8 out of 10 in the Indo, shoulda got 9, my man of the match he was." Plausible argument, confidently purveyed, screened from a pub, media and pundit mish-mash. Utter tosh though. He had seen the game yet he chose to ignore the evidence before his eyes. No point in trying to contradict him . . . he was right and nothing I said was going to change his mind.
I reviewed the match on RTE. The panel, who know their stuff, were in the middle of the post-game analysis.
The usual angles were assessed . . . tries, tackles, turnovers etc. There was time to fill so the director went for a bit on how Ireland's new scrum-half performed. So the new dynamic at the base which would give us a new dimension was screened. Three clips of Boss making a break in the first half . . . three of his best breaks. I would always ask people to think for themselves when they see someone on a team perform. The panel had gone with the flow on how Boss would give Ireland an added dimension. They were stunned into silence when the evidence was presented to them . . . Boss had run up his bum in all three clips. I watched the match again, the clips presented were his best breaks.
That was only the start of it.
There is no question that Boss has talent but he had a very poor game last Sunday. His Ulster colleague Kieran Campbell played against Romania in last season's autumn internationals.
Campbell couldn't pass off his left and took a step in either direction . . . Andy Robinson will join him today in purgatory, a place which I believe no longer officially exists.
There is a Brazilian dance called the Bossa Nova. It's a samba derivative, step forward, tap, step back, tap, step together and repeat from the opposite foot. Ireland's scrum-half took two steps out of the ball off so many recycles that I couldn't keep count. He doesn't do it that often for Ulster, why did he do it for Ireland? The answer is obvious, he needed to crab two steps wide to see if there was a gap, 95% of the time there wasn't and then he just shipped it outside. You take into account the wind and rain didn't help. That said most of his passing was ok, some of it wasn't though and O'Gara had to either reach or check. O'Gara's cross-kick came as a result of a poor delivery from Boss . . .
which he brilliantly but barely held on to. All moves were off. The out-half sent a guide-by-wire cross-kick to Hickie for a sensational finish. Everything gets forgotten about because of the eventual outcome.
The Bossa Nova Two-Step takes a second out of the ball. Enough time, more than enough time given the conditions, for Stirling Mortlock and Lote Tuqiri to come and empty Ireland's midfield. On three or four occasions Ireland's game breakers were milli-seconds away from dispatching a linebreaking pass but just got hit a fraction early. Time taken out of the ball inside was the reason. Nine times out of 10 the scrum half just does his job. He passes as quickly and accurately as he can, he should in fact never look up for the break because it should happen instinctively. The pass is half-way out to the pivot but it actually never leaves the scrum-half 's fingers and suddenly he is gone. If you are a scrum-half looking to break all the time you are as bad as a scrum-half who never breaks.
Boss' breaks didn't achieve anything constructive . . . except for one passage in the 10th minute. Ireland had negotiated near enough a 20-phase passage, the ball came out in the 22. Boss broke right, he had O'Driscoll, Wallace, Murphy and Leamy on his outside. All better runners and finishers than him.
They were marked in a 20-metre channel by Chris Latham alone. A four to one overlap. Boss dummied, cut inside and got swallowed by the cover. A try was certain if the ball had gotten to O'Driscoll, he would have scored himself or made sure somebody outside him did. "Greed is good" said Gordon Gekko in Wall Street, however Gekko does not coach this team, Eddie O'Sullivan does. He does encourage players to back themselves but there will be a brown star on Boss' copy book after that effort.
Boss in my opinion didn't launch his back-row effectively and had one boxkick blocked down and one kick go directly into touch. I don't want to rain on anyone's parade, particularly on someone starting for the first time in Lansdowne Road, but Ireland's new scrum did not have a good game. He certainly was enthusiastic, tried hard, tackled well . . . most debutants are fired up with enthusiasm, if they are not they are fired with enthusiasm. Boss will get another chance, maybe two, but it was strange that he didn't get a second outing with Paddy Wallace in the pivot role. He has skill and ability, we will see him again, but I bet Peter Stringer slept well in his bed last Sunday night. Eoin Reddan, what is taking you so long?
Neil Best had a good match, he got Man of the Match. It is good to see that Ireland have an Axe Murderer at six, it is a thrilling prospect, chilling too that he will get better as he learns more about the international game. John 'I've miles to go before I sleep' Hayes had a superb 80 minutes . . . four counter rucks, three superb tackles, two loose ball recoveries, one savage line-out rip on the line and a partridge in a pear tree.
When you don't have to scrummage its amazing the work load you can get through. He was outstanding. His colleague on the other side of the scrum had a mixed day. When you consider that the seven other members of the pack had really good afternoons, it should have been easy for Bryan Young to have a really big game. He knocked a ball on close to the line in the 23rd minute which could have yielded a try . . . that was his worst moment . . . he did carry and he did tackle and was noticeable without being prominent.
He needs to be an awful lot more aggressive in the tackle, more proactive at maul time and a bit more dynamic when he carries. I do think that he can become a good international player if he stays in that pack for, say, a season, which now looks likely.
I have no medical qualifications, but as someone who suffered from backrelated calf problems it looks like Marcus Horan's condition might become chronic, that is the second serious calf tear in a year. If it happened in a scrum then it definitely is back related. It's not career threatening but it could blight the back end of his career and the need for Young to become not just a viable replacement but a force in his own right is now essential.
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