Ad from Cabinteely goes, "Hav u checked out d gables in foxrock yet, full of idiots pretendin 2 wrk on der macbooks n yummy mummies botoxed up to der eyeballs, well worth a look."

Checked it out? My old dear has her own seat in the place. I'm the one who's always had to pick her up from there when she's had too many cappuccinos to drive.

The D4 Damager is there: "Hey rosser I was just watching that lucy kennedy on the ex-files. Ever think of going on it yourself?"

They did ask but they were going to need to hire Croke Pork for my exes.

Some goy called Mal Heurestment gives it: "I love those daft dave ads on the radio. He's a lot funnier than you, ross. And I bet he didn't go to a shit school."

Lisa from Cork is like, "Another great autumn for Rog. Where do you think it leaves you now vis a vis the Six Nations?"

I'd say my chances are receding like the Leinster team's hairlines.

Some dude called Dougie goes, "I'm not one to be starting rumours but that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes baby is a ringer for you, Ross.