WHAT does Graeme Dott do for kicks? Does snooker's world champion occasionally go for a tricky black when there's an easy pink staring him in the face. This Christmas, will he perform crazy tricks involving a piece of chalk, the spider and a triangle in front of his two best mates, or 'Mum and Dad' as he sometimes calls them. Maybe at weekends he gets to stay up late, to watch the snooker. One thing's for sure, crystal chandeliers aren't in any danger of being ripped from his ceiling any day soon.

Here's a sample from the 'On the Spot' section . . . one of those quick fire quizzes which so often offer more insight than an hour-long, one-on-one interview can ever do . . . on Thursday night's Snooker Extra: "Wine or beer?"

"Neither". "Tea or coffee?" "Neither".

"Spend or save?" "Save". And, most telling of all, "Eastenders or Coronation Street?" "Eastenders".

All that excitement came after one of the most genuinely shocking events the game has seen since Alex Higgins rubbed foreheads with a tournament official at the same event 20 years ago. Ronnie O'Sullivan, 4-1 down to Stephen Hendry in the first to nine frame UK Championship quarter-final, conceded the match and walked away. It left Hendry, the referee and the audience in York not quite knowing why this was happening. Well, here are two dots, join them if you wish: 1) a bored enigma, prone to depression; 2) the prospect of playing 'Dotty' in yesterday's semifinal.

There was more craziness on Friday night with Peter Ebdon dancing a jig after defeating John Higgins in the first semi-final. He whooped, he hollered, he came close to tears, claiming the victory was the most important of his career. Back in the studio, John Parrott and the likeable Steve Davis agreed that the game of snooker was the winner after the previous day's shenanigans. A lovely story, nicely engineered.

Shockingly, Graeme Dott didn't feature as one of the 10 contenders for the BBC's Sports Personality of the Year award last Sunday. The show has always marked the beginning of the Christmas season on this couch, but the leading lights didn't dazzle nearly as brightly this year.

However, the BBC can hardly be blamed for their efforts here. In fact, they upped the ante by broadcasting live in front of more than 4,000 paying spectators in Birmingham's NEC. The opening had more razzmatazz than usual with Oscar night music and an impressive list of previous winners wheeled out. The great, the good and "US Open finalist" Greg Rusedski joined presenters Gary Lineker and Sue Barker on stage, after which Adrian Chiles introduced this year's contenders: Jenson Button, Joe Calzaghe, Darren Clarke, Nicole Cooke, Ricky Hatton, Andy Murray, Monty Panesar, Zara Phillips, Phil Taylor and Beth Tweddle (us neither).

The little spittle that flew from Lineker's mouth when he introduced "K Club hero" Darren Clarke and Europe's Ryder Cup captain Ian Woosnam for their interview got the Dungannon man's campaign off to a rather unfortunate beginning. There have been many barstool pundits giving their two cent's worth on why the oddson favourite was beaten on the night by Elizabeth Windsor's granddaughter Zara Phillips, but some of the blame must lie squarely at the feet of whoever told Clarke that the shiny suit was a good idea. After that, all Phillips had to do was smile and reveal that she had a blister from "mucking out" the stables. Game over. Gymnast Beth Tweddle, whose vote on the night was no doubt swelled by a brave live performance on the parallel bars, came third.

This year's highlight was one of those pieces of montage magic that the BBC pioneered way back when the Sports Personality of the Year winner was a top sports person with a bit of a personality. After a report on the Rooney/Ronaldo meeting of minds at the World Cup quarterfinal, a quote from Roman philosopher Lucius Annaeus Seneca set the tone for the excellent tribute to Zinedine Zidane (left): "There is no great genius. . . without some touch of madness." And as you watch clips of the former France captain in all his pomp with grace, poise and stature turn into a raging bull in the World Cup final, it makes you wonder whether soccer is a simple game played by complex people, or an intricate game, mastered by simpletons.

To misquote a more recent and more relevant philosopher, Fr Ted Crilly (aka, for this tenuous link, Zidane).

"Now concentrate this time, Wayne and Cristiano. These (pointing to Subbuteo players on a table) are very small;

those (pointing at players on the pitch) are far away. . ."