Of course we are buggered from the off. Giving up anything (or as my mum used to say "offer it up") presupposes an element of sacrifice; that we endure some painful or character challenging alteration to our personality to a higher consciousness to take care of.

He'll sort us out; He'll be our second set of footprints in the sand when times get tough. We're buggered for starters, entering a pact in which there is only one loser and one more reason to feel like the cowardly lion in the Wizard Of Oz. Well, get down off that cross.

It's no secret that most of the best Christmas songs are written during the summer months when the season is furthest from our thoughts and this is when the best work is done in terms of getting anything done.

Therefore the "doorway month" from which January takes its name is the best time of year to plan the summer holidays, buy some swimming togs, organise a cruise or stay up all night to watch England getting whitewashed by the Aussies in 40 degree heat Down Under. Now you're talking.

No, nothing should be given up in January and nothing should be taken up either, unless it's something that one can easily do without; something which contains no potential failure or even the faintest whiff of self defeat. Eat more, your body needs it at this time of year. Join the gym if you want but only on a free trial. If they ask you to sign anything simply say you haven't got your details to hand (by the end of the month you will be back to normal and fitness will be the farthest thing from your mind). If you smoke, smoke more than usual.

Try chewing these gum products that are being advertised on the telly, you know, the ones that contain this new chemical called "therapeutic nicotine". Love that, therapeutic nicotine. By the time February arrives you may well be so sick of it that you might actually want to feel better every day. The cigarettes will fall off you.

Shop more, no matter how broke you are; it's statistically the cheapest month to do so. Take a holiday in Ireland, the roads are empty and the room rates are rock bottom. Turn the heat UP a degree. Not down one.

Live a little, for God's sake, it's not the end of the world, you know.