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Surely this much talk is just rude
Eithne Tynan



EVEN though it's a disgrace to let slip that you have a soft spot for Star Trek, it has to be said that listening to the radio sometimes feels like being inside a Borg cube (complete with hive mentality). There's just so much sheer noise. Even if you're someone who seeks out talk radio, and deliberately tunes the dial away from ubiquitous pop music in search of speech, the clamour is just oppressive.

The problem is that so much talk radio is typically the human-speech equivalent of pop . . . insipid, repetitive and unnecessary. This has been evident for a long time on RTE and Today FM, but Newstalk has really put the tin hat on it. Now there's a wide choice of places to go to hear the same few ideas thrashed out recursively from the same few standpoints.

It's tempting to wonder how people would feel if the television schedules consisted of talk show after talk show after talk show, as the radio schedules do, or if newspapers were nothing more than opinion column after opinion column (well, granted, that kind of newspaper seems to do very well indeed).

As an example, Wednesday's Lunchtime with Eamon Keane on Newstalk included a discussion of SUVs . . . are they more dangerous than ordinary cars and all the rest of it. There are really only two views on this matter, depending on whether or not you own an SUV, but nevertheless the whole monotonous issue has to be sliced into bite-sized pieces, roasted on a spit and served up reheated on a bed of standard practice.

Drivetime with Dave Fanning is one of the worst offenders when it comes to overcooking the question.

On Tuesday, Fanning spent almost the entire show asking whether 'Debrett's Correct Form' is still relevant today. In other words, is attention to formal etiquette still necessary? You'd think there was room there for a yes or no answer to that, wouldn't you, but no. It took the best part of an hour to talk it all over.

Admittedly, Fanning had some interesting guests.

One was Jennie Bond, the BBC's royal correspondent, who said she "couldn't possibly" abide by any of these rules. She has never curtsied to the queen, and she says the royal family don't mind. " 'Your royal highness' . . . if you analyse that, what a ridiculous thing to say to anyone, " she said.

Taking the opposing view was historian Declan Downey of UCD, who's all for Debrett's and good manners and seems like a proper throwback. He still refers to Istanbul as Constantinople. Can you do that?

Do the Turks not think it rude?

Downey said that dukes and so on appreciate being addressed by their correct titles as a gesture of respect. "I'm sure they do but it is not a gesture I'm willing to proffer them, actually, " countered Bond. "I think it's ludicrous." "Are you a Marxist?" asked Downey, and then laughed for ages at his own joke.

Downey might have done better on Woman's Hour, a programme where it seems everyone is always much too polite to disagree. On New Year's Day, the programme did a feature on marriage, now that it has emerged that married people are a minority (at least in Britain and the US) outnumbered by cohabiting couples and single people.

Professor Stephanie Coontz was invited to talk about her book Marriage, a history: how love conquered marriage, in which she says marriage for love is a recent idea, and marriage as an institution is in trouble because people are investing too much in it emotionally. Andrew Samuels, professor of psychology at Essex university, was invited to disagree, but he found he couldn't. No one could have.

It was all just too obvious.




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