I DIDN'T see any newspapers on Monday, so perhaps I missed the announcement that global poverty had been erased. That was certainly the impression being given by Sir Bob Geldof on the front of the following day's newspapers as he took time out of his schedule to pick up yet another honorary award.
Appearing at Newcastle University alongside British chancellor Gordon Brown, Geldof proclaimed, "without question Blair and Brown have completely altered the possibility of this issue [world poverty] being celebrated today. If there wasn't Blair and Brown I can't imagine where we would have gone."
So that's that then: poverty is no more. The biggest problem facing countries such as Malawi is no longer food production, it is how to cut commuting time to Lilongwe now that all the motorways are jammed with Hummers and Mercs.
Well, not quite. If we delve temporarily into the world of understatements, we could say that poverty is still quite a big issue in Africa. And while Newcastle University might be willing to dish out honorary degrees to Sir Bob, it might be some time before Lilongwe University does likewise.
Geldof has become the face and voice of the antipoverty campaign. He reached this position in life not through expertise or experience, but by writing a few catchy pop songs in the 1980s.
As the organiser of both Live Aid and Live 8, Geldof has undoubtedly devoted more time and effort to the issue of global poverty than most people who talk or write about it. However, event management and global economics are two wildly different areas and perhaps Sir Bob should know his limits.
Immediately after last year's G8 summit in Gleneagles, Geldof almost caused himself injury by falling over himself to heap praise on the Three Bs - Bush, Blair and Brown. The summit had delivered, in his words, "on aid, 10 out of 10; on debt, eight out of 10. . . mission accomplished, frankly".
This statement, as well as several others issued by himself and his pop-star pal Bono, confused many experts on the issues, who maintained that the 2006 G8 meeting had been little more than every previous G8 meeting - a public relations exercise for the leaders of the world.
What the G8 promises and what the G8 delivers are two separate things, and any serious commentator on the issues will say that the Three Bs, together with their partners in crime, have failed to deliver what's needed in order, to borrow a phrase, to "make poverty history".
Not, of course, that it's Geldof 's fault. He has helped to focus public attention on the issues in a way that galvanised the public.
Where he has failed, however, is to hold the G8 to account. Instead of pushing for promises to be kept, he has let the G8 off the hook.
Geldof and Bono may suffer from ego-driven naïvety, but the real problem is the way they allow the Three Bs et al positive publicity. Remember 2001 when, as almost half a million people congregated in Genoa calling for debt cancellation, Bono stole the limelight by loaning Vladimir Putin a pair of sunglasses and smiled for the cameras?
And while Sir Bob is content to pose for soft pictures with Gordon Brown, who's asking the hard questions?
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