CIAN O'CONNOR Age: 27 Sport: show jumping If there was anything attractive about your horse testing positive for a banned substance, being stripped of your gold medal and reviled by your team mates, O'Connor would be on our other list. Unfortunately for him, he's here.

BRIAN O'DRISCOLL Age: 27 Sport: rugby Previous offences like peroxide-tipped hair pale in comparison to BOD gamely posing in the new Adidas unitard.

Words fail. Or do they? "He's wider than he is taller" and "What the hell was he thinking?" is working OK for us right now.

DJ CAREY Age: 36 Sport: hurling A face that only a mother could love, he looks even more menacing when he smiles than when he wields a hurley. That said, the Kilkenny colours wouldn't do much for anyone.

STEVE STAUNTON Age: 38 Sport: soccer Unfortunately cursed with the unsexiest accent around, Stan's boring drawl is said to have more potent sleependucing effects than a bucket of Calpol. Then there's the hair. . .

RONAN O'GARA Age: 29 Sport: rugby As BeBop to Dricko's RockSteady, O'Gara spends most of his time off the pitch either in Slapper Face Jacks or larking about draped in Newbridge Silver. Note to ROG: don't try to bring sexy back unless you have a receipt.

OWEN MULLIGAN Age: 25 Sport: football Whether Owen Mulligan's hair turned white with the shock of how unsexy he is remains unknown. Still, the Casper look never, ever works, and Mull needs to get some serious Just For Men action in his folicles before the ladies even think of giving him a second look.