SINCE Mick Jagger and his beautiful girlfriend Marianne Faithful blazed a decadent (remember the Mars bar), drugfuelled trail through London's 1960's rock 'n' roll scene, the partners of rock stars have provided fascinating entertainment.

The antics of John and Yoko, Sid and Nancy, Rod and Britt, and Alana, and Kelly, and Rachel, and Penny, and, more recently, Paul and Heather and Kate and Pete have given us hours of gossipy pleasure.

But what is life really like for the partners of famous musicians? Is it all champagne, Valentino gowns, after-gig parties and Hello!

magazine spreads? We asked four women to tell the real truth about living with a rock star.

Harriet Ring, 33 Partner of Ashley Keating from the Frank & Walters Ashley and I met in the moshpit of a Sultans of Ping gig in London 14 years ago.

Because half the audience at gigs are in bands of some description, I didn't think it was particularly cool that he was in the Frank & Walters - I just thought it sounded like a nice job and we clearly had music in common.

Back then I was a student and fitting in to his increasingly busy schedule wasn't a problem - we were both based in London, S he'd always try to accommodate me in between interviews and gigs, for example, and I never minded bunking off a lesson or two.

This year, though, has been tough because we've got a one-year-old girl.

We're now based in Cork and interest in the band has been reignited so he's only at home two days a week on average. I'm a schoolteacher so I drop her to the childminders, go to work, pick her up again, put her to bed, then collapse on the couch. Alone. Again. And it's the same thing every day. You can't help but feel like a single mum.

There have been times when I've thought: 'Is this worth it? Would it be better if he worked in SuperValu?' If he decided he didn't want to be in the band anymore for whatever reason, I wouldn't stop him, but I can't be the person to tell him not to do it. The guilt would eat me more than being lonely.

It's ironic that he was at home for three years before now and if we had the baby then, it would have been ideal, but our girl came at the same time as the rejuvenation of the Franks. Which actually has got to be good. The bottom line is that I want them to do better than they're doing because they're a hugely underrated band. So I'm 100% behind him.

Victoria Mary Clarke, 40 Partner of Shane McGowan of the Pogues I've been seeing Shane for over two decades, but I know we're incompatible.

I've known it for years. He thinks with the creative right side of the brain all the time so he doesn't know how to be practical, and we've split up over it in the past.

Shane and I lived together at one point and while he'd write the most beautiful, romantic ballads about me, after a while I would have preferred if he took the rubbish out or changed his clothes more often. I couldn't stand cleaning up after him all the time, so we ended up having separate places. He can come over if he wants, but he has to take his shoes off and he's not allowed to smoke.

Living together also drove me nuts because there would always be people around until the early hours, which meant I had to soundproof my room with egg cartons to sleep. There would be ashtrays and beer cans when I woke up in the morning and I'd rarely get time alone with him. Even when we go out, he always attracts a crowd. And once I've gotten rid of all the hangers-on, he's still got his notepad and pen and he's half-thinking about music. He's incredibly talented and passionate, but a consequence of that is it's all-consuming.

The only time I get his full attention is when we're in a restaurant, and because of that we often eat out. Shane and I once spent 13 hours in a restaurant in Kentish Town, London: we went there for lunch and ended up staying until they kicked us out at 4am. We obviously have a tremendous amount to talk about, which I think is important. It's awful when you see couples sitting at a restaurant with nothing to say. So while we're incompatible in many aspects, I believe we're soulmates. We don't take monogamy too seriously, simply because our connection transcends it. It took me a while to come around to the idea - when I was younger and more insecure I caught him in bed a couple of times and was furious. I slept with other people to get revenge, and then began to realise that it's natural to love someone and still be attracted to other people, and there's no point in pretending otherwise.

I'm a writer by profession now and being around Shane helped me enormously. I learnt a lot about the creative process and life from him, especially from going on tour with the band. I never felt out of place on tour as I was there at the very start of the Pogues;

in fact I saw their second ever gig. Over the years I've travelled the world, and got to witness each gig from a very privileged position as the singer's girlfriend - but now I'm spoiled. I toured with Nirvana when I was writing a book about them and I got told off by Dave Grohl because it didn't even occur to me that I wasn't allowed to go into their dressing room and help myself to their food.

The early Pogues tours were crazy.

Everybody was plastered all the time;

they'd wake up and start their day with a quadruple tequila. It's fair to say that Shane's a multiple drug addict, and of all the things in our relationship that could upset me, it upsets me most when he hurts himself. I don't blame the band for his condition - there are plenty of alcoholics and drug users all around Ireland who aren't musicians. Him being in the Pogues has meant he has access to better quality drugs and private medical care. But I worry for him and that won't ever go away.

Siobhan MacGee, 25 Partner of drummer Dec Murphy from The Blizzards I've been Dec's girlfriend for six years.

We're both from Mullingar and know each other from around town. When I first met him, he was in a few bands but only took it seriously when The Blizzards formed three years ago. Because my design 28.01.07 SundayTribune company have been working on the band's artwork, I've felt part of the process rather than watching from the sidelines.

But it did feel strange seeing them on The Late Late Show. I watched it at a local pub where all the family and friends were packed in - there was a real atmosphere and everyone was cheering them on, but I was in the corner being a nervous wreck!

He performed fabulously and I was so proud of him.

There are frustrating aspects to his job, though. A constant problem we have is that we can't plan anything in advance - holidays, birthdays, weddings - because most of the time he only knows what the band are doing two weeks in advance.

That's going to get worse as the band get bigger, but I try to accept it as a quirk of the job.

What's harder to deal with is the touring. We've recently bought a place together, which actually makes it more pronounced when he's away - and that's most of the time. I've got great friends and I'm really busy with work but I do get lonely. I'm absolutely dreading this year, when they'll go to the UK and Europe so they'll be away for long periods of time. I hate people bringing it up; I cringe when I think about it. I know it's not going to split us up, but it's going to be a tough one.

Mo Kelly, 29 Partner of Mark Murphy of the Devlins and Autamata Mark and I have barely seen each other these last few months - I'm a DJ so I've been DJing like crazy and he's a producer as well as being in two bands, so he's forever busy. We've been together for eight years and most of our friends are musicians so this lifestyle doesn't seem strange anymore. We're used to having to work around lastminute commitments, and not seeing each other for a while - it's the life we chose so we just try to grin and bear it.

It only gets hard when it's a long period of time, like when he went to America with the Devlins for two months last year. It's always easier to be the one that's away than the one left at home, so I didn't know what to do with myself, in our apartment all alone. I ended up partying my ass off to take my mind off it: I did every gig going and hung out with my friends. But that's the maximum amount of time I can handle - I was literally going crazy by the end of it.

Mark has a number of groupies, and it's strange how there's different types for the two bands that he's in. The Devlins ones are very sweet and motherly - they send the band care packages and just want to look after them. The Autamata groupies tend to be younger and are the rock-chick type. I've seen girls go up to him and thankfully it doesn't get my back up.

Mark's quite shy and I'm not worried about them, although that might just be me being naïve.