I GREW up in Cape Town, South Africa and my mother used to take my sister and I to mass but other than that prayer didn't feature in our family life.

"It was in suffering the loss of my father to cancer when I was 18 that I began to question what life was really all about.

"I started to try to live the Gospel as Our Lady taught, but before long my first serious boyfriend was on the scene and my zeal soon faded as the joys of falling in love, student-life and partying took over.

"I left Cape Town after university and backpacked around the world for a year before starting my career in London.

"I worked my way to a top position in an international financial company. I loved partying and living the high life, but over time I became aware of an increasing emptiness inside me.

"It was in this brokenness and darkness that I had a powerful experience of the presence of God while I was on a business trip to the US in October 1999.

"I can only describe it as a feeling in my heart as if Jesus reached down, placed a mirror in front of me and asked: 'This is who you are, is this who you want to be?'

"I had several relationships and had never remotely considered not getting married and having children, but the thought of committing to God in religious life began to surface and wouldn't go away.

"In February 2001, during a trip to Medjugorje, I had an incredible experience of being totally overwhelmed by God's love for me. I still wanted to get married but at the same time felt a strong desire to give myself to Jesus in a way that I felt I couldn't if I were married.

"At a retreat in England in August 2002, I couldn't stand the turmoil any longer so I told Jesus that I was going to be a nun and if that was not the way ahead he would tell me quickly so that I could find a husband.

"I decided to give the Poor Clare way of life a try so I joined up on 2 March 2004 and exactly a year later I received the habit of St Clare as a novice and my religious name, Myriam.

"My family wish that I hadn't chosen this path.

My mother finds it impossible to understand why her daughter, who could have had and done anything, would choose to become a nun.

"My choice does not make much sense on a rational level but within me, where understanding ceases to be a priority, I am at peace with wanting to give myself to God."