»WHAT'S THE STORY?

The 50-year-old grandmother who the Sun (right) claimed had slept with footballer Wayne Rooney begins her legal action against the newspaper tomorrow. Patricia Tierney, who has 16 grandchildren, was named and photographed in a story that claimed she was a prostitute who had slept with Rooney.

She denies the story, claiming she was merely a receptionist in the massage parlour Rooney visited.

» WHAT ARE THEY SAYING?

According to Tierney's legal team:

"Mrs Tierney is a married woman, mother of seven children and grandmother of 16. She is not a prostitute and has never been a prostitute, as the Sun alleged? The reality is that she worked parttime as a receptionist in the massage parlour for three weeks in August 2003 before leaving for another job? These dreadful allegations devastated Patricia Tierney and have left her on antidepressants and barely able to set foot outside of her own home."

The Sun has defended its story.

» WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?

The case opens in Manchester County Court tomorrow. Tierney claims the allegations, published in August 2004, have ruined her life.

Rooney, who has admitted sleeping with prostitutes, may well be called to the stand as the star witness.

If you're crackers and you know it. . .join the BB queue

»WHAT'S THE STORY?

Fancy spending your summer locked up in a house with a bunch of deranged extroverts?

Big Brother has the answer. So if you're over 18 and crazy, head to Dublin's RDS on Wednesday where the auditions for Big Brother series eight are taking place. You could be the next Spiral - what are you waiting for?

» WHAT ARE THEY SAYING?

"Eh, yeah" - Spiral "Sanity is not statistical" - 1984, George Orwell

» WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?

You queue in the cold at the RDS. "Applicants are advised to wrap up warm and bring something to eat and drink, as it could be a long day, " say audition organisers. And if you get through, you are subjected to lengthy background checks before you eventually sign your life away and encourage all ex-boyfriends and girlfriends to flog stories to the tabloids about how amazing/rubbish you are in bed. Ain't fame a ticket?