SOS DOWLING sits and speaks in a tone that would struggle to ripple water. So gently, that if you didn't know better, he'd strike you as the sort of ex-footballer who shows up at the back of the stand the very odd Sunday, never uttering a word, never offering an opinion.

If that was actually the case, you couldn't blame him either. All Star nominee way back in 1987; League finalist come 1991;

Leinster finalist thrice; All Ireland finalist once. But no matter how many rounds he went there was always a punch before the last bell. No matter how much he won, he was always the loser when the last ball was kicked. There's only so much force about a person when they've travelled along the borders of sporting submission.

If there was one week that epitomised it all, it was the lead up to the All Ireland final of 1998. Kildare were favourites. They had to be. Already that championship they'd become the first team in 110 years of football to beat the previous three All Ireland winners in the same campaign. Dublin went. Meath went. Kerry went. In Leinster, Dowling only conceded a single point against any direct opponent. In the semifinal, the up-and-coming Mike Frank Russell managed just one before Dowling was taken off in the second-half with a minor dead leg. Not to worry though. That leg would be ready and willing to jump the last hurdle.

"Strange to say, but the makings of that year were in 1997. We got to a Leinster semi-final and played three-and-a-half games against Meath. People remember the Dublin-Meath epic but our saga is forgotten. I don't know why because it was every bit as dramatic. We were six or seven points up and they just wouldn't go away.

It was exhausting but even in losing such a battle, we could still see there was something special there. Some people said I should call it a day after that. They made the point I'd had many days, 14 years of them with Kildare, but they all ended badly.

And had I walked then, I would have left behind something that was going somewhere. I'd have had nothing to show for two decades of football. I talked to Glenn Ryan about it and he said if I could give anything, even 10 minutes that following year, don't go. He was right because we just really gelled together in '98. It was like there was a destiny about it."

Then came training the Wednesday before Kildare were to due to be crowned kings. The panel sat in the dressing room while Mick O'Dwyer stood and called out the team he said would win. "There was a rearrangement and I wasn't called out. I was devastated. Heartbroken. But it was double-edged, the way I found out. I was never told until he called out the team in front of everyone and my name wasn't there. He was going through the forwards but I was already in shock about the backs.

I approached Micko after that and asked why he never said a thing before. He just came up with some excuses. 'Had no time, was busy, had to name the team.' " Glenn Ryan has said since, that when he thought injury was set to rule him out of that '98 All Ireland, he sat in a car and cried.

Dowling reacted differently and found sorrow in sleepless nights. Then the day before the game Ronan Quinn picked up an injury.

O'Dwyer rang Dowling. He was in. "Not exactly ideal preparation. When I heard I wasn't playing I couldn't sleep, I thought I'd lost my chance. That's not how to build up to an All Ireland final. And as I said it wasn't so much being dropped, it was the way I was dropped too. I felt angry and annoyed and suddenly I have to change my mindset.

But Pat Dunney [a Kildare selector] told me before I went out onto the Croke Park field, 'You got your chance to win an All Ireland and to prove everyone wrong. Now go do it'."

He never did. In fact his last game in a Kildare jersey will be remembered as one of his lowest moments. He lost his shot at finally picking up an All Star 11 years after a surprise nomination and the way he was run ragged meant he lost his chance at an All Ireland as well. "I was all set to play corner-back. I'd watched the videos of Derek Savage and Finnegan [of Galway]. Both were big strong corner-forwards, just the way I liked them because I wasn't typical for my position, I wasn't small and quick.

But within a few minutes of throw-in Micko came over to the huddle and at 34 years of age I found myself switched to the wing, marking Michael Donnellan, being destroyed.

"That made it five changes from the semi-final win and I found it very tough. But we had the chance as players too. But we had no Plan B and after half-time we got ambushed. We brought on Brian Murphy late and he made a big difference. Dermot Earley had a shot that was going in and it got deflected over. We could have got a draw by the end. But they expected us to play a short-passing game when after halftime we should have thrown on Brian, played it long. The last few minutes suggested they'd have found it difficult to cope. By the time it was over I just remember I was on my knees. I couldn't believe it.

I remember looking up and Luka Bloom was standing over me and he just said, 'Thanks for the memories Sos. Thanks'."

After that he called it a day with Kildare.

There wasn't the same excitement there had been when losing the previous year.

That week and that defeat and that treatment had taken too much from him.

"Everyone makes a mistake though but it was bad management. I've taken that with me and I'd never let that happen as a manager. Ever. If I was going to drop someone, I'd make sure they were told in advance, told why, talked to about it because they've given a lot to me as their manager and they deserve that."

But since then he's found salvation on his doorstep. He was part of the Moorefield team that won county titles in 2000 and 2002. And by '05 he found himself in charge at the Newbridge club. That year they threw away the county semi-final to archrivals Sarsfields but this was another defeat where he found hope. There was something there. He pulled Ronan Sweeney, Kenny Duane and the selectors at the club aside and told them this was a team that could gel and go places. He knew from experience they would and before Christmas he saw them win a Leinster title with a sensational performance against Rhode.

But now he doesn't want a late punch. He wants to a winner when the last ball is kicked. He's too shy to say that they can can beat Dr Crokes today, but that's because he's still finding his voice.