"People may be free to spend as much as they want, but it's crazy to be under pressure because of the amount of money being spent on a wedding, " said Fr Gerard Godley of the diocese of Kerry.

"The important part of the wedding ceremony is the commitment the two people are making and that shouldn't be overshadowed by unnecessary expense."

The diocese of Kerry, one of the strictest in the country, has banned pop and all non-religious music from all wedding ceremonies in a bid to remind the congregation of the importance of the ceremony they are attending.

"All hymns or songs should be scripture-based, reflecting the richness of the sacrament in which Christ is present, " diocesan guidelines state. "In this context, songs from the shows, musicals and pop charts do a disservice to your celebration.

Their beauty is best expressed at the reception."

The diocese of Dublin, while not outrightly banning pop music from weddings, has recently introduced an album of appropriate music for couples to choose from. Costing 15 from Veritas shops, it contains 25 hymns and religious songs that "enhance the solemnity of the occasion" and has been "a great success", according to the diocesan director of music, Fr Pat O'Donoghue.

The diocese has also produced a Songs of FarewellCD, especially for funerals. Pop music has been frowned on at funerals by almost all dioceses, including the diocese of Kildare and Leighlin, which states, "The music chosen for the liturgy should be music that has an appropriateness within the celebration."

All parish churches have a bereavement team on hand to guide families through the funeral mass and advise on what is appropriate. Eulogies during the liturgy have been disallowed throughout the country, and in Kerry, graveside eulogies, secular songs and personal belongings in the offertory procession have all been removed from the ceremony.

"The sacredness of the funeral mass is compromised by things that would be more appropriate outside the funeral liturgy, " said Bishop Murphy in a homily recently. People who are not regular mass-goers might be less familiar with what is deemed appropriate and should be advised accordingly, he added.

In the same homily, Bishop Murphy queried whether people who don't regularly go to mass and non-practising Catholics should be allowed to get married in a church or have their children baptised.

"We priests may not administer sacraments to children unless we are satisfied that faith is present in the parents or some other significant adults in the lives of the children who will surround them with an atmosphere of Christian faith as they grow up, " he said.

Some parish churches in the Dublin diocese have resorted to taking a roll-call of parents attending mass prior to their child's First Holy Communion, the Sunday Tribune has learned.

However, these decisions lie with the parish priest of each church, according to the Dublin diocese office.

"There are no set guidelines as to whether parents should be made to attend mass prior to their children receiving the sacraments, " a spokeswoman said.

When it comes to weddings, Fr Godley said using charity shops for wedding clothes is "a very good idea. . . It is for a good cause and takes away the money pressures that shouldn't be there in the first place".

Barnardos Bridal Boutique in Dun Laoghaire, Dublin, is a charity shop "with a difference", according to a spokeswoman. The shop stocks only brand-new wedding dresses at cut prices.

Bargains include dresses for between 250 and 700 that originally cost up to 3,500.

"Our first year of trading has been a great success, " said Barnardos' shop development officer, Colette Miller. "The shop has a lovely atmosphere and is by appointment only so our customers can get the individual attention they need. Best of all, they can know that every penny of our proceeds goes towards helping children in need."

THE APPROVED LIST: WHAT YOU CAN PLAY IN CHURCH SELECTION OF SONGS FROM 'THE WEDDING ALBUM':

We Praise You O Lord (The Dameans)
Christ Be Near At Either Hand (Arr.Gerard Gillen)
Throughout All Time (David Haas)
Eagle's Wings (Michael Joncas)
Let Us Rejoice (Marty Haugen Wherever You Go (Owen Lynch)
Ave Maria (Daniel Kantor)
Song Of Ruth (Donald Reagan)
I Love You Lord (Celebrant Singers)
Gathered As One (Owen Lynch)
Love Is Patient (Gerry Keegan)

SELECTION OF SONGS FROM 'SONGS OF FAREWELL':

Bless the Lord My Soul (Taize)
Into Your Hands, O Lord (Bernard Sexton)
Like The Deer That Yearns (Joseph Walshe)
Grant Them Eternal Rest, O Lord (Owen Alstott)
The Lord Is My Light And My Help (Paul Inwood)
Glory To You (David Haas)
May Flights Of Angels (Orlando Gibbons)
Come To Me (Michael Joncas)
May The Road Rise (Lori True)
Receive Her Soul (Sean Terry)
Song Of Farewell (Michael Joncas, RIGHT)

For an appointment with Barnardos Bridal Boutique, contact Catherine or Maura at 01-2801246