Candy-pink frocks, tears of joy and bitterness, hundreds of actors and actresses and a little gold man. Yes, tonight is Oscar night in Hollywood, where dress designers have their reputation nearly more on the line than the budding prima donnas wearing the creations. If you fancy staying up all night, Sky Movies are showing the entire ceremony (yawn) live . . . preceded by a live ret-carpet show on Sky One, while RTE and Sky One will show highlights tomorrow. You'll just have to plug your ears all day to avoid hearing the resultsf

WHAT ARE THEY SAYING?

"Most people have an idea of what they're going to say, " said Gil Cates, Academy Awards telecaster, who has seen countless of tearful, long-drawn-out and plain arrogant speeches throughout the years. "They may deny it, but I think they do." As with other years, winners have just 45 seconds to spew out their life thoughts a la Gwyneth Paltrow: "Thank you mom, dad, my dog, McDonalds, my Kindergarten teacher, my mechanicf" After that, you'll be ushered off the stage.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?

The three Hs . . . Hysteria, Heroics and High Fashion. Best-Actor nominees include Oops I Lost It Again Leonardo Di Caprio for Blood Diamond, Peter O'Toole for Venus and hot favourite Forest Whitaker for The Last King of Scotland. If Helen Mirren doesn't win for her performance in The Queen, bookies everywhere will die of shock, while the long-suffering Martin Scorsese (LEFT) is tipped to finally join the Oscar Club for The Departed. Keep an eye out for little Abigail Breslin from Little Miss Sunshine. Best child actress EVER.