Some dude who doesn't give his name is like, "I was in terroirs in dbrook b4 the edinburgh match.

Some dude wanted to know how to make blue champagne!"

Must have been from out of town.

Everyone in this part of the world knows it's vodka, lemon juice, triple sec, Blue Curacao and champagne. I knew that before I knew how to make toast.

Eddie T in Clane goes, "Gr8 to see u on d liza on friday morning. Did u do any damage 2 d tv3 dolls?"

Sadly not . . . they kept Karen Koster out in the garden. And of course Claire Byrne is long gone. I see she's doing a bit for this rag now. Roll on the next Christmas party.

Ml Turley goes, "The airport is not on dns, it is surrounded by dns, like west berlin during the cold war. The M50 is a conduit pipe for us."

I think you should stand in the by-election for the seat vacated by my old man.

Some dude called Eamonn gives it, "Ross, I am at a loss . . . wat is the best haircut 2 wear when ur tryin 2 meet a few birds? Gel or au naturel?"

Doesn't really matter. Birds aren't that shallow. They're much more likely to judge you by your shoes.

Jessica in Mount Merrion is like, "Wot do I do about my ex who I still love and who says he still loves me?"

What do you think this is, Just Seventeen? Hate to be a cynic, Jessica, but if a man says he loves you, there's an 84% he's lying. So you've got to ask yourself . . . do you feel lucky?

Father Austin is there, "Im @ d kylie exhibit in london, didn't kno st michaels strip woz in d collection."

If you're saying Michael's players are birds, I couldn't possibly go along.

Stephen goes, "I see fas are holding a career showcase in croke park. There won't have been that many unemployed people in croker since the dubs last played there."

Yeah . . . does anyone else find it hilarious one of west Dublin's unemployment blackspots is called Jobstown?