CHAMPIONS LEAGUE RTE 2/Sky Sports, Tuesday/Wednesday
THE LATE LATE SHOW RTE 1, Friday
WE need never worry again about missing anything important or interesting on television, YouTube has our backs. If it was worth seeing, somebody somewhere liked it enough to upload it to the website. Which is why Billo and the three amigos opening a can of whup-ass on Liverpool's performance in knocking Barcelona out of the Champions League is on the site. It has thus far been viewed over 27,000 times, and climbing fast, and has 27 pages of comments underneath it. Twenty-seven!
Admittedly most of those views came from xenophobic idiots with text-message English (Liverpool fan: "we could have one 5-0." Tell us more, wise sir) but that's still a heck of a response to generate.
Needless to say Eamon Dunphy was the one who shipped the most abuse for his ranting and raving, with Liam Brady and John Giles being a bit more restrained and measured in their approach.
Dunphy admitted he was hoping Liverpool would get beaten so insulted was he by their defensive style, pointed out that if it was a concert you'd boo, called Steven Gerrard a "nothing player", and generally derided Liverpool's players and their approach to the game. Whatever your views on the panel's opinions it's definitely thought provoking.
The glue that holds them together though is Billo and he was in fine form during the week. He keeps them on track when necessary, indulges their occasional flights of fancy and happily plays the part of the fool when necessary, despite the fact he's spent a good chunk of his life watching soccer in the company of knowledgeable people. Only occasionally does he feel the need to toss out his opinion and it's usually welcome as a mediating voice of reason. After the boys had gone through Rafa Benitez for a short-cut he used his anchor position to have the last word, cheekily pointing out, "Yeaaaah, they could still have been 30 up at half-time, " before announcing an ad break.
The following night he pointed out to the panellists that many people had been complaining their harsh verdict on Liverpool smacked of bias and prejudice.
The Dunph: "I'd like to defend my friend John, he's not capable of prejudice."
Billo: "But you are, you mean?"
The Dunph, though looking a little peeved, chose to ignore this and plough on. "Players and managers can come out and say 'We got the result, we're through.' But our job as analysts, and football fans, is to look beneath the surface and see a deeper reality. And that's what we're trying to give you."
QED.
Sky's woeful pundits may yet find salvation from the unlikely source of Graeme Souness. His prolonged exposure to the RT� panel during the World Cup seems to have made him realise that actually stating your honest opinion rather than sugar coating your banal platitudes is the way forward. He practically snorted in derision at Celtic's "brave" display against AC Milan, pointing out the Glasgow side simply didn't have quality players, his tone even lending courage to Ruud Gullit, who took the opportunity to laugh at Neil Lennon's pudgy physique as he exchanged shirts. This sort of thing is surely to be encouraged.
Or maybe all they really need is someone like Billo. In fairness to anyone sitting on a Sky panel, they are likely to be thrown off the scent of clarity with Richard Keys sitting amongst them. After surveying the midweek punch-up between Inter Milan and Valencia he more than once used the phrase "GBH, " claimed people should be thrown in prison for such behaviour and was generally so exaggerated and shrill you expected him to start shouting, "Won't somebody please think of the children."
Two of our most recent European champions, David Gillick and Bernard Dunne, turned up on The Late Late Show and acquitted themselves very well, although Pat Kenny was surely as tough an opponent as either of them have faced recently. Dunne has been an accomplished interviewee for some time now and carries himself with the swagger that being a boxer necessitates, but undercuts it by being witty and self-deprecating.
Gillick, coming across as a homely alternative to Dunne's homeboy, was equally impressive. But while he spoke eloquently and expressively about his win in Birmingham the interview would have been far more entertaining if Pat hadn't kept cutting him off in the middle of every sente-"tell us about your training programme?" Let him finish! That training programme exchange basically amounted to Pat shouting out days of the week while giving Gillick barely enough time for an intake of breath. Clearly the host decided he was in suitable company to aim for a personal best time, just don't expect to see it popping up on YouTube any time soon.
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