If I weren't talking to you right now I'd be. . . On the way to a gig called "Where You From".

It's stand-up comedy. There's no rhyme or reason to the route, south to north and back again. I just try and sleep and eat mints and scotch egg bars.

A phrase I use far too often. . . "Top man" and "top chap". It applies to women as well.

A common misperception of me is. . . That I'm big and loud and not very smart. I'm actually small and quiet and super-genius.

I am not a politician but. . . I'd get behind Make Poverty History which made some advances last year but we all know it's not enough. When you go to Africa and see what they have to go through you see what can be done. Twenty-one of the world's poorest countries are in Africa.

I'm good at. . . Communicating. I also make a very good chicken risotto.

I'm very bad at. . . Spatial awareness. I'm really clumsy. I was on The Big Breakfast and Chris Evans made me ride on a very small motorbike and I fell off spectacularly. Everybody thought it was hilarious but I didn't.

You know me as a comedian but in a truer life I'd have been a. . . Singer in a band.

Before I was in stand-up comedy I was a singer. I used to go to working men's clubs and did Elvis ad infinitum.

In a nutshell my philosophy is this. . .

Everyday you wake up breathing and not foaming at the mouth is a good day.