BILLIE HOLIDAY is someone I've admired ever since I first came across her when I was 18 and was working as the first female street sweeper for Ealing Council in London. I went to see a movie called Lady Sings the Blues, in which Diana Ross played Billie Holiday. I just went bananas, because I thought it was the most amazing story with incredible music. I went into an old record shop on Portobello Road a few days later, and bought every record of Billie's I could find there, and found out everything I could about her.

Billie was born Eleanora Fagan in Baltimore in 1915 and she had a very hard life. Her mother was only 13 when she was born and she grew up in care. Billie was raped when she was 11 years old - and I can identify with her because I was sexually abused when I was a child and I had a hard time growing up, with school and all of that, even though my parents were really wonderful.

Billie worked as a prostitute, and she spent time in prison, but music was her saviour and she sang her way through all the bad times. She began singing for tips in nightclubs and was discovered by a talent scout who managed to get her recording sessions with Benny Goodman. That led to her getting a recording contract and her career really took off.

She was very brave and pioneering in many ways, because she was the first black woman with a white orchestra. She used to have to go in the back door of hotels when they were travelling, while her band went in the front - and I can identify with that in some small way, but in reverse. I had a manager once who wanted me to travel separately to the band and stay in hotels while they stayed in bed and breakfasts - my attitude to that was that he could go f**k himself.

The reason I admire Billie is that she made something beautiful out of something really awful. She died when she was only 44 and was in addiction for much of her life - and I can identify with her in terms of drinking and taking drugs.

Billie was involved with many men who abused her and I don't think she ever found happiness, apart from when she was up on stage singing. I can totally relate to that because, like Billie, singing gets me through everything. I can remember being in this really awful relationship and getting away from it for a few hours to go out on stage was an incredible release.

Billie drank heavily throughout her life and I know that when I drank I thought about the hard times and I certainly wallowed in the whole thing of being a drunk and the feeling that nobody loved me.

It's very easy to get stuck in that way of thinking and unfortunately for Billie she did get stuck in it. She kind of resigned herself to that life, which I think was very sad. I was luckier because I got to the Rutland Centre and now I can go through the sad times through song, which is much safer to do than going through the bottom of a bottle of vodka.

My self-esteem was really low and drink made me feel better temporarily. And then it made me feel worse than I ever felt because of the awful things I was doing when I was drinking, some of which hurt my kids deeply. And I think that Billie possibly felt the same way - the idea that, "You're just a f***in' loser so you might as well really be one."

When I was drinking, music was my saviour and I think it was the same for Billie. I've been separated for two years, and then my ex-husband Frank became involved with Sin�ad O'Connor a year ago and the texting and other stuff blew up in the media. All I wanted, through it all, was to do my gigs. I was just so desperate to get out on stage because, like Billie, I'm someone who expresses myself through song because I can't talk for nuts.

At my first gig after all the trouble started I didn't want to come out of the dressing room because I was mortified.

But as soon as I walked on stage the audience gave me a standing ovation before I'd even started singing. I felt so much better because singing really relaxes me and enables me to get everything out. Thankfully, I'm very happy now with my partner John and life is good again. But if I thought I couldn't sing again I'd go mad.

It was Billie Holiday who made me sing in the first place because when I had my first three kids in Galway, all those years ago, I'd be washing nappies and singing 'Billie's Blues' and 'Them There Eyes'.

I've always sung one of her songs in my set and on every album I've ever made since the first one. I did a tribute show to her a few years ago called Lady Sings the Blues and it ran for six weeks in HQ before transferring to the Gaiety for two weeks.

It was an absolutely amazing experience and I never, ever got fed up with it. I had these beautiful dresses made and we told the story of Billie's life in between the songs and had visuals playing on a screen.

And I used to die every night singing 'Good Morning Heartache', as the footage of her coffin being carried out of the church was playing behind me.

Mary Coughlan will perform at the Olympia theatre on Thursday 29 March