I drive. . . From the passenger seat. I'm 38 with two kids and still haven't learnt to drive yet, which is a disgrace. That doesn't stop me telling my wife how badly she's driving.
If I have time to myself I. . .Watch Deal or No Deal on Channel 4. What a deceptively brilliant game; perfect viewing for semi-retarded, nondriving, unemployed actors.
You wouldn't know it, but I am very good at. . .
Guessing the price of anything. I used to work in retail and developed this skill very quickly.
I'd be brilliant on The Price is Right.
You may not know it but I am very bad at. . . Saying no on the phone. People must think I have a brass neck to do stand-up comedy and hidden camera stunts and maybe I have, but I just don't have the bottle to say no to people on the phone.
A book that changed me. . . Billy Liar by Keith Waterhouse (left). I read it when I was 19 and completely identified the main character.
Reading it made me determined that, unlike Billy, I would take that metaphorical train to London when the chance arose When I was a child I wanted to be. . . A priest.
They had fancy cars and big houses with housekeepers. At 13, however, I reached puberty and that put paid to that ambition.
All my money goes on. . . The kids.
At night I dream of. . . Learning to drive.
The soundtrack to my life. . . All the theme tunes from CBeebies.
The best invention ever. . . The flushing toilet has never been topped. It is the cornerstone of civilisation.
Movie Heaven. . .Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory followed by The Servant.
Naked Camera returns to RTE Two tomorrow
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