EVER get a letter from a bank that read like it was written by a computer?

You may not be far wrong.

One of our First Active sources was advising a couple who suddenly stopped and stared, open-mouthed, before replying: "But you told us the opposite in a letter we received the other week!"

FA had collected the source's signature, copied it into a computer then fired off a letter to the clients . . . a letter the source knew nothing about.

Once fed into a computer, missives with the signature on them could be fired off at will, without our source's knowledge of their contents. Hence the embarrassing episode with clients.

"The customer cannot be faulted in assuming that the letter was drafted by the person who signed it, and that the signatory actually signed the particular letter they received. Any normal person would assume that to be the case."

The source professes to be disillusioned with the trend towards both impersonal and sales-oriented banking in general.

"I enjoyed working in this area immensely over the years, but in recent times it has become a salesperson's job, " our source says ruefully.

SNOOZING WHILE LOSING MONEY

INTEREST rates went up again last week for the seventh time in a couple of years.

If you are daft enough to have a substantial sum on deposit you may be lured into thinking that these hikes were all just an illusion.

Because the chances are you are still getting derisory interest if your money is on demand.

Most demand accounts are still paying less than 1%, even though rates have risen by 1.75% in total in the latest cycle.

Huh?

Well, it's quite simple really. Banks slap on the hikes to your mortgage . . . and, in fairness, to deposit accounts that attract savvy savers. It is the snoozers, who leave large sums in demand accounts earning feck all, who are getting caught out. But there are quite a lot of those.

Earlier this year, the Financial Services Consultative Consumer Panel reckoned there was around 34bn in accounts that pay average interest rates of just 0.9% (across all banks . . . prior to the recent hike). Yet for savvy customers, most banks also have accounts that pay over seven times more.

Bank of Ireland itself wasn't slow to increase the interest rate on its Special Bonus Saver account by 0.25% to 6.5% EAR. AIB, Anglo and Halifax upped their deals aimed at SSIA savers to 7% on their regular saver accounts.

You should remember that these accounts are for restricted amounts saved every month. And don't expect the exceptional rates to last much longer than the frenzy to mop up SSIA dosh.

FANCY A PUNT ON FALLING PROPERTY?

NEXT time you feel like being a barstool economist forecasting that the end is nigh for the property market, you can put your money where your mouth is.

A betting company has opened a book on the property market and is taking bets on which way it's going to go.

And you'll never guess which way punters are betting.

The arrangement is a complex spread-betting deal so there are no straightforward odds yet; the odds are set by the punters depending on which way they bet.

However, Fabrizio Memon, sales and marketing director of the Delta Index says the early indications are that punters are backing a downward spiral. "I would bet that way myself but not strongly enough to bet the family home, " he says. "With spread betting you can cover yourself against a downturn without going that far."

But you could also end up losing money, as you can with all forms of gambling, especially spread betting.

Memon says the property market betting scheme has been designed to restrict the usual scale of potential losses through spread betting . . . and, it goes without saying, it must do the same for potential gains.

You can visit the website at www. deltaindex. ie

HOUSE PRICES ARE FALLING . . . IT'S DAFT

SIGNS that the property boom is over, number 457:

Daft. ie's survey last week showed the first hard evidence that asking prices are falling.

Yep, that's right, falling. Not landing gently, on a big soft cushion, full of nice fluffy feathers . . . or whatever is the latest way that estate agents have come up with for describing a downturn.

Asking prices fell in Dublin by 3% and in Galway by 10%, according to the survey by the website.

Of course, these are asking prices, not hard cash paid over by buyers. However, they do give advance warning of trends in the market in advance of surveys that measure prices paid.

Selling prices are monitored by the ESRI/PTSB monthly survey which should make interesting reading when it next comes out.

SHOPPING AROUND ONLINE PAYS OFF

YOU don't have to shop online to be a savvy consumer, but it's an ever-more useful idea to shop around online.

Online broker Insure. ie came up trumps in a new survey on car insurance by Eddie Hobbs' new mag, You and Your Money.

It came out cheapest for over half of the quotes surveyed . . . and was particularly good value for female drivers.

The survey showed female drivers pay as much as 50% less than their male counterparts.

I have also recently discovered two new websites that should help consumers tiptoe through the rip-off minefield.

Inkjet. ie sells those usually pricy printer cartridges online for much less than you would otherwise pay . . . and delivers them for free.

And if, like me, you're a bit of a technophobe and are confused about broadband packages, Getbroadband. ie can offer a list of quotes from different providers, as well as useful explanations of the techy stuff.

And as always you will also find lively debates about the pros and cons of all broadband providers (and practically everything else too) in the relevant section of that old reliable, Askaboutmoney. com, a website that has been described as "bebo for grown-ups".

FIRST ACTIVE RESPONSE

FIRST Active responded to the first item above with the following: "Due to the volume of communications issued by First Active it is standard practice for direct mail and systemgenerated letters to receive a computer generated signature.

In so far as possible, it is our practice when contacting customers to personalise the letters.

In the majority of cases all those used as signatories of these letters are aware of the content of the communications.

Only in very rare circumstances, for example a long absence, would a staff member be unaware of the content.

BEST BUYS BEST HOMES FOR CASH

AIB offers an AER for regular savers of 7.1 % for amounts between 10 and 300 a month.

For large deposits RaboDirect is offering 4.75% on amounts up to 10,000, then 3.7% on amounts to 1m and 2.7% on any amount over 1m.

BEST CREDIT CARDS

National Irish Bank is offering an interest rate of 10.5% after five months of free interest.

Tesco offers 0% on balance transfers for six months and 14.9% on purchases thereafter.

Halifax is offering 0% on balance transfers for the first six months and 0% on purchases for the same period.

Afterwards, 9.5% on purchases.

BEST BANK FOR YOUR MONEY

Permanent TSB, National Irish Bank and Ulster Bank all offer no fees on current accounts, even when overdrawn. Keep 500 in your account to avoid charges.

BEST STOCKBROKING CHARGES

Sharewatch for buying and selling Irish and British shares . . . 50 for trades up to 15,000.

Minimum charge of 30 and commision 0.3%

BEST MORTGAGE SWITCHER

Halifax will pay 1,000 towards the cost of legal fees associated with moving your mortgage to them and pay up to 150 to cover valuation fees. Legal-fees contribution must be repaid if you move your mortgage from Halifax within five years.

AIB will pay 1,200 towards legal fees subject to usual terms and conditions.