AT least the week came to a satisfactory end for Steve Staunton. He can't have enjoyed the early part of it, when the publicity whirlwind that is Roy Keane blew into town. The Irish Guide Dogs association must not be able to believe their luck with regards to the publicity Keane generates for them. Who else could simply state their views on the national team and have them splashed across the front page of all the papers?

And they came complete with pictures of the Sunderland manager cradling a cute Labrador, suggesting that we all better listen or the puppy gets it. The timing of the undiplomatic visit must have made Staunton groan, as it would inevitably invite comparisons between the two, and Keane has been taking his charisma pills.

It's hard to write a description of Staunton without recourse to the word 'dour', while Keane is operating from the other end of the spectrum.

He's taken over Jose Mourinho's mantle as the coolest coatwearer in management and his dealings with the media are generally masterful. Even when he skates around a question you still feel like he's shooting straight. Plus, he showed a game willingness to laugh at himself, something Stan is glaringly unable or unwilling to do, when he was interviewed by Gift Grub's very own Roy Keane, aka Mario Rosenstock.

One of Gift Roy's familiar tics is a laugh that sounds like an asthmatic machine gun and, while it's nothing like the real Roy, it has become popularly associated with him. So Gift Roy asked if people ever came up to him and did the laugh. Real Roy: "No, they're not brave enough I guess." Gift Roy: "So how do you laugh, if I was to force you to laugh?"

Real Roy: "Go on. Make me laugh." Ian Dempsey gave a slightly nervous sounding chortle at this point but all credit to Gift Roy who said, "The FAI is a monument to professionalism, " provoking peals of laughter from Keane.

Well, at least he can laugh at their failings now, rather than tell someone to stick it up their bollocks, jump on a plane and leave the island.

The saddest thing about most soccer players though is that being bland is seen as some kind of a talent.

Surely someone who openly speaks their mind should be the norm rather than the exception. Last Monday on BBC Alan Shearer was describing Andrei Shevchenko's goal against Spurs and used the phrase, "He doesn't need to look because he knows the posts don't move." Three times. And that was after Mark Bright has used that exact phrase first. The worst part is that if the BBC continue their policy of hiring whoever scores goals regularly for England we will almost definitely reach a point where Gary Lineker chairs a pre-match analysis with Shearer and Michael Owen. The levels of smugness such a triumvirate would generate are likely to affect global warming.

This couch's introduction to cricket was the 2005 Ashes series, but as terrific as that was, those who actually knew something about the sport assured us that we shouldn't expect things to be that exciting on a regular basis. The recent Ashes whitewash washout seemed to confirm this, at least until the World Cup started. The fraught, tension-filled climaxes to Ireland's first two games were impressive, but then murder, mystery and the mafia were added to the mix. While the ICC would definitely not have wanted any of the publicity they've received owing to Bob Woolmer's death, there is no question that they have gotten the world's attention. Certainly they got the attention of Sky Sports News, who finally had a story to get their teeth into that seemed to justify the existence of a 24-hour sports news channel. At the height of the intrigue during the week there seemed to be new developments every few hours and Sky wheeled out any number of people to put on the spot, the vast majority of whom would clearly have been more happy giving their views on the game of cricket, as opposed to the shady dealings going on around it.

They quizzed, nay, crossexamined Pakistan Media Manager PJ Mir on his country's squad being DNA tested.

And he got tied up in all manner of knots, first pointing out that the squad were under no suspicion, then saying that everybody staying in the hotel had to be under suspicion before deciding he was right the first time. The poor guy seemed so stressed under questioning that if it was an episode of Columbo you'd start shouting, "He did it!" at the screen.

It showed in stark relief the nonsense being spouted by Staunton earlier in the week when he claimed he was being treated like a murderer.

Relax Stan, even if it feels like it sometimes, we all know it's not really a matter of life and death.