Tuesday marks the long-awaited (and poorlyanticipated) deadline for the conclusion of the consultant contract talks. Ah yes, that old chestnut.

And you thought it had gone away because you hadn't read about it for a while. Well, after dancing around each other like so many fairies, the HSE, Mary Harney and the Irish Hospital Consultants' Association are reportedly no nearer to reaching an agreement than they were in the year dickedy-doo when this all started. Surprised, anyone?

WHAT ARE THEY SAYING?

What are they not saying? Since Harney made it clear that reforming consultants' contracts and pulling them out of private practice would be her priority in 2005, it has been open warfare. Last January, after a prolonged holiday from the talks, the consultants grudgingly agreed to get back to the table (while voting no confidence in the HSE).

But Harney didn't exactly help things along when she announced the contracts were going ahead no matter how the talks went. Diplomatic.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?

Well, you can be 99.9% sure that no agreement will be reached. Can't you just hear the negotiations? HSE: 'Will you accept the new contracts?' Consultants: 'No'. HSE: 'Ah go on.

Actually, it doesn't matter 'cos we're doing it anyway. Ha!' The idea has been put out there that the deadline should be extended (heaven help us) but with Harney continuing to bare her teeth (there's an election on the way, don't you know) this is fairly unlikely. End of? Don't get your hopes up.