Enduring the school run. The Dunkirk evacuation must have been easier to organise than a working mum getting her kids out of the house in the morning.

A phrase I use far too often is. . .

"Many marriages break up for religious reasons. He thinks he's a god and, well, she just doesn't."

The most surprising thing that happened to me was . . .

Motherhood. Even though I am occasionally tempted to shove my kids back into the condom vending machine for the refund, I love my son and daughter with a primal passion.

A common misperception of me is. . .

That I don't like men. I am very partial to blokes, especially naked on a bed of lettuce.

I'm not a politician but. . .

I care passionately about women's rights. It infuriates me that women don't have equal pay and are still getting concussion hitting our heads on the glass ceiling.

I'm good at. . .

Swimming. Growing up as a surfie chick in Oz, shark-infested waters were an excellent incentive for aquatic sprinting.

But I'm very bad at. . .

Maths. Men have been able to trick me into believing they're doing 50% of the cooking and child care.

The best age to be is. . .

Late 20s. Before you learn love prepares you for marriage the way needlepoint prepares you for round-the-world solo yachting.

In a nutshell, my philosophy is this. . .

Never wait to be rescued by some knight in shining Armani. A woman must learn to stand on her own stilettos.

'When women hit the glass ceiling, they're expected to clean it' is out now