Opening batsmen: Ronan Curran and Seanie McMahon, two beautifully fluent and accurate strikers of a ball. Then, for their power, Eugene Cloonan and Paul Flynn. Next, for their sweetness of stroke, Eamon Corcoran and the aforementioned Cha. Wicketkeeper, hopping around the place to his heart's content, Davy Fitz. A trio of speedy fielders in Damien Hayes, John Mullane and Andrew O'Shaughnessy. Finally, somebody one suspects would be equally adept at bat, in the field or at the wicket: DJ Carey. The more eagle-eyed among you will have noticed that there aren't a whole lot of bowlers in our side. Not a lot we can do about that, what with there being no skill in hurling that even roughly equates with what Warney and the boys concern themselves with. So there.

And it goes without saying that these guys would bate the real Ireland cricket team out the gate.

GER WILL GET KICK OUT OF MUSICAL TRIBUTE The existence of a Limerick band called Giveamanakick . . . a beat combo much loved by the young people, doubtless . . . came to our attention during the week.

We make this announcement solely because they have a song called 'Ger Canning'. Seriously.

Sadly, it seems the song has nothing to do with the great man.

"We were just stuck for a name, " according to one member of Giveamanakick. Still.

LOUTH FANS CONSIDER THROWING IN THE TOWEL Proof this week that Gaelic football is growing soft at a rate to make global warming look positively stagnant.

The last time we heard a woman complaining so vociferously at a county Louth venue was when the home side were denied at the death by Meath a few years back. That day she threw an umbrella from the stand, catching one of the opposing players, before hastily exiting.

Now, jump forward to 2007. After Westmeath were beaten by the Wee County in Dundalk two weeks back, a woman contacted GAA chiefs looking for a full refund. Had she complained about the standard of her team, we might understand, but her issue involved the weather and lack of covered seating. Unable to "nd shelter, she was forced to go to Aldi to buy towels to dry her and her children. At least she got away from the football for a while.