IN the old days, borrowers used to have to go down on bended knee to get a mortgage.

Now it's the other way around. And not only are banks prostrating themselves before borrowers, they are also bearing gifts.

Last week, it was Ulster Bank's offer of Euro1,000 to mortgage switchers. And this week, First Active followed suit with a similar deal. What's next? Are bank managers going to come around to your home to wash your car and cut your grass to win business?

Money Talks generally doesn't like cash incentives.

When banks have to come up with freebies, it's usually because the products don't stack up.

A thousand euro is a lot of money, but mortgages can cost you hundreds of thousands over their lifetime. So even Euro1,000 isn't enough to make up for an overpriced mortgage deal over 30 years.

So let's see how Ulster and First Active's home loan deals compare.

Both First Active and Ulster Bank already offered to pay switchers' legal fees. So the extra grand is a real bonus on top of that, a cash sum into your hand.

What about mortgage rates? Neither First Active nor Ulster distinguishes themselves in the standard variable rate table. First Active's 5.03% deal comes sixth in a table compiled by Providence financial services (www. providence. ie). Ulster comes last of 12 lenders at 5.24%. Getting paid Euro1,000 would in no way compensate for the extra interest you'd have to cough up on these deals, if you go for a standard rate mortgage. However, standard mortgages are no longer, erm, standard, apparently.

"All of our new business is currently being written on either tracker or fixed rates, " an Ulster spokeswoman informs us.

Independent experts agree.

The market has moved on.

My confidence as a mortgage expert wilts even further when I look up the tracker tables. Literally dozens of these yokes, with all sorts of conditions, have sprouted since the last time I looked in depth at this area. The deal varies with the loan-to-value (LTV) ratio and size of the mortgage.

There are also lots and lots of trackers with very nice rates, but only for a limited (discounted) period.

Well at least we're back on firm ground when it comes to discounts. We know that old banker's dodge all too well.

Discount periods distort the market by offering cutprice deals for a short period only, which makes no sense with something as long-term as a mortgage. And they are often the dearest lenders to lure unwary borrowers on board.

So we can cut down the comparisons by "discounting" the discounts.

Let's also call in an expert at this point to help poor old confused Money Talks through the mortgage minefield: Michael Dowling, president of the Independent Mortgage Advisers Federation.

Michael agrees about the discount deals and cuts them out of the equation. (Although it must be said that, unlike most discounters, AIB is very competitive even after the discounts lapse. ) So where do Ulster and First Active stand in the busy tracker mortgage market?

Ulster's trackers are "very competively priced", he says.

For those with loan-to-value ratios of less than 80%, Ulster offers the European Central Bank (ECB) rate plus 0.75%, which works out at 4.5pc currently. Not-so-lucky householders with LTVs over 80% pay ECB +0.95pc, or 4.7%.

These deals rank at number one and two respectively for non-discounted trackers.

But there are terms and conditions attached. To qualify for these juicy rates, you have to open a U-First bank account.

No big deal, you might think.

But it's not quite that simple.

U-First bank accounts involve paying a hefty fee for which you get all sorts of benefits, which are very hard to quantify.

But what if you don't want to open a U-First account?

The rates slip to 4.7% and 4.9% respectively, which are still competitive, if not marketbeating (see table).

First Active's corresponding trackers are similar to Ulster's no-strings-attached deals at 4.7% and 4.85%.

Incidently, the cheapest trackers for very low LTVs are offered by NIB, which also insists that you open a current account to avail of them, so banks are using trackers as a weapon in the battle for the current accounts, and therefore the wallets, of customers.

Overall, both Ulster and First Active get the thumbs-up for trackers, with Ulster winning out for customers willing to bank with its U-First deal.

Next, let's look at fixed rates, which thankfully are a bit more straightforward.

For three-year fixed rates, Bank of Scotland is tops, according to Providence, at 4.69%. But First Active is very close behind at 4.85%. Ulster is listed a poor ninth at 5.04%.

For five-year fixed rates, First Active is neck and neck at the top of the value table at 4.89%. Again Ulster is well down the list at 5.06pc. So First Active comes out on top for fixed rate deals.

"These (Euro1,000 freebies) are both attractive offers and both lenders have strengths with particular types of borrowers, " says Dowling.

Ulster comes out on top for trackers; First Active has very competitive fixed rates.

But where First Active is really winning business is among first-time buyers (FTBs).

FTBs are having the sums they can borrow continually reduced as interest rates go up and stricter lenders stresstest loans by assuming rates are going to keep going up.

First Active doesn't do this so strictly at present, and so FTBs can borrow more money from them and get the home they really want.

"Getting an extra fifty grand can really make a big difference to young couples, " Dowling says.

However, they may not be so delighted later on if they're unable to cope with their mortgage repayments.

The Euro1,000 freebies are a welcome addition to the market, even if you don't take Ulster and First Active up on their offers.

Dowling advises that you can use them - and the mortgage tables - to threaten your existing lender, if it isn't coming up with the goods already.

"Banks are competing very aggressively at the moment.

They have discretion at branch level to give you a better deal, " he says.

Some banks, such as BoI, stay deliberately flexible. On paper they may not offer the best deals, but if customers complain that they are on a poor rate, they will quickly give them a better one. The reasoning here is that few customers are savvy enough to check and complain. So, as usual, the squeaky wheel gets the grease.

BEST BUYS

BEST HOME FOR YOUR CASH

? AIB offers an AER for regular savers of 7.1 %for amounts between Euro10 and Euro300 a month.

? For large deposits RaboDirect is offering 5% on amounts up to Euro10,000.

? Irish Nationwide is the best choice for large savers with two-year fixed rate of 9% on deposits between Euro20,000 and Euro1m.

BEST CREDIT CARDS

? Halifax offers 0% on balance transfers for the"rst six months and 0% on purchases for the same period. Afterwards, the rate is 9.5% on purchases.

? NIB's Mastercard Gold offers the 9.4% interest rate after eight weeks of free credit.

BEST BANK FOR YOUR MONEY ? AIB and Permanent TSB will pay 4% interest on the first Euro1,500 in your account.

? Up to the end of this month Ulster Bank will give you Euro150.

You have to pay your salary into each account in each case. Keep Euro500 in your account to avoid charges.

BEST STOCKBROKING CHARGES Sharewatch for buying and selling Irish and British shares - Euro30 for trades up to Euro3,000.

Minimum charge of Euro30 and commission 0.4%

BEST MORTGAGE SWITCHER ? Halifax will pay Euro1,000 towards the cost of legal fees associated with moving your mortgage to them and pay up to Euro150 to cover valuation fees.

The legal fees contribution must be repaid if you switch mortgage from Halifax within five years.

? AIB will pay Euro1200 towards legal fees subject to the usual terms and conditions.