These boys in blue . . . including two superintendents . . .

have been seconded to round up a few unsuspecting citizens to fill out the ranks of the increasingly lamented Garda Reserve Force.

How far this mighty concept has fallen. The Reserve was designed to present an opportunity for volunteers to play good cop on the weekends, and it was assumed that thousands would jump at the opportunity. Now, instead, senior members of the force proper have to pressgang shy, upstanding citizens into action.

Watch as the recruiters come marching through your town or village, armed with a bell to draw people into the street, whereupon the superintendent will read a proclamation, beseeching the citizenry to ask not what their country can do for them, but what they can do for Michael McDowell.

Oh dear. There are currently 89 active members of the Reserve walking the mean streets. If things had gone according to plan, there would be at least 10 times that many seeing action this side of the election. At the current rate, the full complement of 1,500 members won't be recruited for seven or eight years, which is a political eternity of two elections away.

It's not as if there was no interest among the public. A total of 6,661 applications were received, a volume that was hailed as a vindication of the minister for justice's bullish approach to the establishment of a reserve. Where have they all gone?

Okay, you have to weed out the deranged, the psychopathic, the angry, people packing a grudge, and the disturbed. But in the normal scheme of things, you might still expect to be left with a large percentage of sane applicants who wish to serve.

Surely they couldn't all have been unsuitable? Surely?

It's just as well the minister did a u-turn on his original plan. Two years ago, he was gung-ho that the Reserve would number 4,000 recruits.

At a time when talk of crime has reached hysterical levels, one in every three cops in the country was going to be a parttimer, out on the weekend, acting the hobby bobby. Toytown, how are you?

Somebody talked McDowell down from that silly height and the target was reduced to 900 recruits. At least at that level, the proper cops would be able to do their jobs without too much interference.

Then, last December, there was a spate of gun murders. One element of the "package" of measures the minister announced to tackle the problem was the increase in level of the Reserve to 1,500 recruits.

That really must have sent a shiver down the collective spine of thugs with guns.

Nearly six months later, here we are, with 89 fully fledged hobby bobbies. And counting.

The concept of a Reserve force is a reasonable one. The problem lies in execution.

Social and cultural barriers require time to negotiate. In the UK, one in every 10 policeman is a reserve constable, but that system took years to begin functioning properly.

Over here, our minister for public relations required big numbers, pronto, to show that he meant business.

Numbers are where it's at in the spin game, whether dealing with the hobby bobbies or the real thing. The minister now credits the force proper with 14,000 members, where, in fact, there are less than 13,300 trained cops. The remainder are recruits who won't come on stream until next year. (If you throw in applicants to the Reserve, McDowell could, with a straight face, claim a force of 20,000. Beat that number. ) A pilot project for the Reserve, followed by an orderly phasing in around the state would have been the sensible thing to do. But such a process would require a few years to bed down, rendering it redundant as a political tool.

Last month, a spokeswoman for the minister said he was "relaxed" about the rate of recruitment to the ranks of hobby bobbies. I'm sure he is. The Reserve was last year's gimmick. Been there, spun that. Next, please.